Friday, December 21, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times - 122207): "Power Outage"

What did ya’ll do during last Sunday’s power outage?
We had a classic “moment” compliments of Mom - at the Pitzer household.
The electric had been out since 9 a.m., so around 10:30 that same morning, Dad decided to brave the dicey weather conditions and trek three miles into Arendtsville, where Salim’s Mini-Mart was sure to have freshly-brewed coffee.
Father returned around noon, and delivered hot coffees to my sister and me.
The three of us then convened in the Dining Room, where Mom had decided to get a jump-start on her fifth-grade lesson plans at the dinner table.
With Mom’s head buried in a pile of note pads and books, the three of us positioned ourselves around the table, sipped our coffees, and caught up on the news of the weekend, hoping in the meantime that the electric in the upper portion of Adams County would miraculously activate.
My occupied mother immediately realized what was transpiring.
“Are you guys going to sit here all day?” she deadpanned.
The chatter immediately lulled as our collective heads veered toward Mom’s chair.
“What?” said my soon to be 20-year-old sister. “Don’t you like us?”
Before she even had a chance to reply, the house lights flickered on. And within seconds, the table congregation scattered.
Regardless, I think she really does like us.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Bowl Winners

Here is my prediction of the Bowl games based on the Mentzer Rankings

Poinsetta - Utah vs. Navy - Winner - Utah
Las Vegas - Brigham Young vs. UCLA - Winner - Brigham Young
New Orleans - Florida Atlantic vs. Memphis - Winner - Florida Atlantic
Papa John's.com - Southern Mississippi vs. Cincinnati - Winner - Cincinnati
New Mexico - Nevada vs. New Mexico - Winner - New Mexico
Armed Forces - California vs. Air Force - Winner - Air Force
Hawaii - Boise State vs. East Carolina - Winner - Boise State
Motor City - Purdue vs. Central Michigan - Winner - Central Michigan
Emerald - Maryland vs. Oregon State - Winner - Oregon State
Independence - Alabama vs. Colorado - Winner - Colorado
Texas - TCU vs. Houston - Winner - TCU
Holiday - Arizona State vs. Texas - Winner - Arizona State
Humanitarian - Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State - Winner - Fresno State
Music City - Kentucky vs. Florida State - Winner - Florida State
Sun - South Florida vs. Oregon - Winner - South Florida
Liberty - Central Florida vs. Mississippi State - Winner - Central Florida
Insight - Indiana vs. Oklahoma State - Winner - Oklahoma State
Champs Sports - Boston College vs. Michigan State - Winner - Boston College
Meineke - Connecticut vs. Wake Forest - Winner - Connecticut
Alamo - Penn State vs. Texas A&M - Winner - Penn State
Chick-fil-A - Clemson vs. Auburn - Winner - Clemson
Outback - Tennessee vs. Wisconsin - Winner - Wisconsin
Cotton - Missouri vs. Arkansas - Winner - Missouri
Capital One - Michigan vs. Florida - Winner - Florida
Gator - Texas Tech vs. Virginia - Winner - Virginia
Rose - Illinois vs. USC - Winner - Illinois
Fiesta - West Virginia vs. Oklahoma - Winner - Oklahoma
Orange - Kansas vs. Virginia Tech - Winner - Kansas
Sugar - Hawaii vs. Georgia - Winner - Hawaii
International - Ball State vs. Rutgers - Winner - Rutgers
GMAC - Tulsa vs. Bowling Green - Winner - Tulsa
BCS Championship - LSU vs. Ohio State - Winner - Ohio State

I actually have 3 variations to the main formula and based on those variations there are 3 games that could have a different outcome based on the averages of all 4 formulas. Those games are

Motor City Bowl - Purdue vs. Central Michigan
Meineke - Connecticut vs. Wake Forest
Chick-fil-A - Clemson vs. Auburn

Also the Music City Bowl is now skewed based on Florida States alternate learning style. My formulas do not take any of these activities into account.

This information is for entertainment purposes only.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

today's Hillary Clinton quote of the day


Sept. 29, 2007: "Sometimes reporters write what I say and not what I mean."

Monday, December 10, 2007

On Good Deeds

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He opened it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

"Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,
Edna "

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read,

"Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

...By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office."

Friday, December 07, 2007

Gettysburg Times: "Canners pound on Knights, win 57-15"

BY SCOT ANDREW PITZER
Times Staff Writer

WRIGHTSVILLE – Out to prove that last year’s school-record 23 wins was no fluke, the Biglerville Canner wrestling team launched its 2007-08 campaign on a positive note Thursday night, with a convincing 57-15 win over the Eastern York Golden Knights.
Biglerville head coach Bob Gano was pleased with his team’s aggressiveness over the undermanned Eastern York (0-1) squad.
“It was a typical first match of the season,” Gano said after watching his Canners win seven of the nine contested bouts. “We were a little sloppy, but it’s nice to finally get back out there on the mat and start our season.”
Biglerville (1-0) built a quick 13-0 lead thanks to a decision by senior Seth Shive at 160 pounds, ensued by a second period fall at 171 by Green Castle-Antrim transfer Dale Nichols, and then a Danny Thomas 16-8 major decision at 189 pounds.
“I thought that our kids that have experience went out there and had some fire,” Gano said.
One of those experienced grapplers, Gano continued, was junior heavyweight Brett Smyers. Pitted against a boatload in the form of Ryan Lehr at 285-pounds, Smyers was methodical in scoring a first period takedown and two near-fall points. He then added a third-period takedown to pad his lead, and notch a 6-0 victory that was never truly in question.
“I thought Brett Smyers did a great job,” Gano said, lauding his heavyweight. “He was never in any damage. He rode (Lehr) for almost an entire period, and put him on his back in the first period. Brett did everything that is supposed to do, and he did everything that he is taught to do. We’re going to need him this year.”
The Canners accrued four forfeits from 103-130, with only one bout – albeit an exciting one – contested in that stretch. Biglerville freshman Nick Leiphart used four takedowns, and several near-falls to assemble a 12-3 third period lead over Golden Knight Barry Lewis. But late in the final stanza, an over-aggressive Leiphart was reversed to his back, and pinned with four seconds remaining in the match.
“We made a mistake at 119, but it was an aggressive mistake, so it’s OK,” Gano said. “Nick will be a good kid for us.”
Juniors Nick Asper (135) and Nic Lieberum (140) added a pin and technical fall, respectively, followed by Shay Shive’s first period pin at 145-pounds to round out the scoring for Biglerville.
“Overall, it’s very early,” said Gano. “We need to get in better shape, because some of the mistakes we made were expected, but as the season continues, they’re not accepted.”
Biglerville is in action this weekend at the Solanco Wrestling Tournament.
Scot Pitzer is a Times staff reporter.
160 – Seth Shive (Big) dec. Phillip Landis (EY), 8-2
171 – Dale Nichols (Big) win by fall over Robert Mackley (EY), 2:50
189 – Dan Thomas (Big) major decision Dylan Stoops (EY), 16-8
215 – Donald Smuck (EY) win by FFT.
285 – Brett Smyers (Big) dec. Ryan Lehr, 6-0
103 – Briar Garber (Big) win by FFT.
112 – Jesse Gardner (Big) win by FFT.
119 – Barry Lewis (EY) win by fall over Nick Leiphart (Big), 5:56
125 – Dustin Bower (Big) win by FFT.
130 – Tim Kint (Big) win by FFT.
135 – Nick Asper (Big) win by fall over Aaron Trinh (EY), 3:44
140 – Nic Lieberum (Big) win by tech. fall (15-0) over Barrett Otterbein (EY), 5:54
145 – Shay Shive (Big) win by fall over Mark Holloway (EY), 1:34
152 – Dylan Grandalia (EY) dec. Logan Bobo, 1OT, 2-0

Reporters Notebook (Gburg Times - 12/08/07): "Never trust a Confederate woman"

I was standing along the back-end of Steinwehr Avenue several weekends ago, along with thousands of other individuals, at the annual Civil War Remembrance Day parade in Gettysburg, when it dawned on me: I was thirsty, hungry and cold.
Naturally, I asked photographer Bill Schwartz if he was interested in some food, and perhaps a hot drink, and he seemed to think that it was a great idea.
“Why don’t you just go into McDonald’s,” Bill suggested, as the fast-food joint was only a stone’s throw away, “and grab a coffee or two and a couple of double cheeseburgers.”
Sounds like a great plan.
But then, the plan was foiled — by women.
“I could use a cup of hot tea,” a lady dressed in Confederate garb told me.
One of her friends concurred that hot drinks were a great idea.
So, I went into McDonald’s, stood in line for what seemed like 45 minutes, and finally was able to speak to a cashier. They didn’t have hot tea, so I ordered four coffees instead: one for me, one for Bill, and two for the friendly Confederate lasses who were positioned along Steinwehr.
“What a load of crap,” I thought. “I can’t believe I just waited in a fast-food line for 45 minutes. Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose?”
I found the group outside, and handed the girls their hot drinks. What I didn’t realize was that those women had friends.
As I disbursed the coffees, two more Confederate women gathered in the immediate area, and displayed puppy-dog faces.
I glanced at Bill, who convincingly gave me the “You know what to do” look.
“Aaaaaand, these coffees are for you,” I told the girls who had joined the party.
I gave all of the drinks away. My double-cheeseburger tasted like plastic. And it was very, very cold.
At least the North won again.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Thursday, December 06, 2007

On Current Events

The war in Iraq is "twice as popular" as the US Congress so let's stop worrying about ending the war and start worrying about....

Monday, December 03, 2007

On Politics

2007 Week 14 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Hawaii 1.0000
2 Kansas 0.9674
3 Ohio State 0.9524
4 Missouri 0.9231
5 Virginia Tech 0.9210
6 LSU 0.8916
7 Arizona State 0.8795
8 Oklahoma 0.8787
9 Florida 0.8780
10 West Virginia 0.8672
11 Georgia 0.8616
12 Michigan 0.8430
13 South Florida 0.8398
14 Wisconsin 0.8333
15 Clemson 0.8311
16 Illinois 0.8274
17 Boston College 0.8197
18 Brigham Young 0.8133
19 Connecticut 0.8125
20 Boise State 0.8106
21 USC 0.8047
22 Central Florida 0.7911
23 Penn State 0.7756
24 Tennessee 0.7752
25 Texas 0.7746

86 Notre Dame 0.3169

120 Idaho 0.0066

Thursday, November 29, 2007

today's Dick Cheney quote of the day


April 21, 2003: "I am a big fan of Walker, Texas Ranger."

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Monday, November 26, 2007

2007 Week 13 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Hawaii 1.0000
2 Kansas 0.9783
3 Missouri 0.9594
4 West Virginia 0.9560
5 Ohio State 0.9540
6 Virginia Tech 0.9133
7 Arizona State 0.8832
8 Florida 0.8758
9 LSU 0.8742
10 Georgia 0.8712
11 Michigan 0.8605
12 Oklahoma 0.8589
13 South Florida 0.8444
14 Clemson 0.8394
15 Boston College 0.8379
16 Wisconsin 0.8354
17 Illinois 0.8352
18 Brigham Young 0.8240
19 Connecticut 0.8211
20 Tennessee 0.8163
21 Boise State 0.8149
22 USC 0.7909
23 Cincinnati 0.7809
24 Penn State 0.7775
25 Air Force 0.7708
26 Texas 0.7702
27 Auburn 0.7688

31 Oregon 0.7511

41 Arkansas 0.6759

88 Notre Dame 0.2984

120 Florida International 0.0000

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 11/24/07) - "Great nuts!"

The Pitzer family celebrated two major milestones this month: the 50th wedding anniversary of Grandma and Pappy, and my Mom’s birthday.
While at an anniversary party several weeks ago, yours truly hosted a trivia game.
“What is Ken’s favorite saying?” I asked the crowd regarding Pappy’s time-cherished phrase.
In unison, the audience replied: “GREAT NUTS!”
Days later, we celebrated Mom’s birthday (I won’t reveal her age, seeing as how I live with her and, for the time being, I’d prefer to keep those accommodations).
As the family sat around the living room on Mom’s birthday, she reflected upon her and Dad’s early relationship.
At one of her first Pitzer family gatherings, held at Great Grandpa Pitzer’s house, Mom — hoping to impress her in-laws — made cherry pudding.
Sorta.
Uncle Jumbo, the first family member to try Mom’s concoction, nearly gagged on the pudding, and spit his first bite halfway across the room.“
That’s terrible!” I can imagine Uncle Jumbo saying.
The pudding recipe called for a couple of cups of sugar.
Mom added a couple of cups alright...a couple of cups of salt.
Great nuts.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

On Storms

We are all (most likely) familiar with rainstorms, snowstorms, hailstorms, shitstorms, etc.....

This is a Metal Storm.

Monday, November 19, 2007

2007 Week 12 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Kansas 1.0000
2 Hawaii 1.0000
3 Ohio State 0.9528
4 West Virginia 0.9458
5 Missouri 0.9453
6 Arizona State 0.9414
7 LSU 0.9348
8 Virginia Tech 0.9068
9 Michigan 0.8715
10 Florida 0.8686
11 Georgia 0.8628
12 Connecticut 0.8536
13 Oklahoma 0.8386
14 Boise State 0.8355
15 Texas 0.8353
16 Illinois 0.8326
17 Wisconsin 0.8312
18 South Florida 0.8257
19 Boston College 0.8200
20 Clemson 0.8141
21 Oregon 0.8132
22 Virginia 0.8055
23 Tennessee 0.7899
24 USC 0.7850
25 Cincinnati 0.7793

27 Penn State 0.7685

47 Alabama 0.6195

49 California 0.5920

100 Notre Dame 0.2023

120 Florida International 0.0000

Friday, November 16, 2007

On High Performance

The husband forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 Seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'

The wife woke up the next morning and looked out the window to see a box gift-wrapped in middle of the driveway. She brought the box back in the house, opened it, and there was a brand new Bathroom Scale.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Bowl Game???

Any guesses on what Bowl Game Penn State will get this year? With Ohio State, Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin all ahead of us in the Big Ten and in the BCS Rankings will we even play on New Years Day???

Monday, November 12, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 11/17/07) - "Popcorn and Soda"

On our way to the movie theater last weekend, my sister proposed a deal.
"You pay for the movies," Jamie told me, "and I'll pay for the snacks."
Translated into English, the Kutztown University sophomore actually said: "You're paying for the most expensive part of the evening, because you work for a living, and I'll pay for the cheap part of the night, because I'm a college student...I don't have any money, and therefore, I'm allowed to be fiscally frugal."
I agreed to her proposition, and forked over $17 at the gate for two general admission cinema tickets.
Yeah, it's two hours of salary, but heck, when you're spending time with family, money isn't an issue.
In the snack line, Jamie orders two small drinks, and two small popcorns. When the cashier read the bill, my sister was dumbfounded.
"Your total is $16.50," the cashier said.
Popcorn = $4.75. Soda = $3.50.
My sister turned toward me, and made the biggest puppy-dog face in the history of the world.
I don't think she'll be negotiating any more of her "deals" any time soon.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

2007 Week 11 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Kansas 1.0000
2 Hawaii 1.0000
3 Arizona State 0.9664
4 Missouri 0.9544
5 Ohio State 0.9441
6 LSU 0.9373
7 West Virginia 0.9320
8 Oregon 0.9253
9 Michigan 0.9048
10 Virginia Tech 0.8938
11 Oklahoma 0.8931
12 Clemson 0.8584
13 Penn State 0.8550
14 Connecticut 0.8534
15 Florida 0.8493
16 Texas 0.8444
17 Georgia 0.8361
18 Wisconsin 0.8353
19 Illinois 0.8328
20 Virginia 0.8224
21 Boise State 0.8150
22 South Florida 0.8123
23 Cincinnati 0.8039
24 Boston College 0.7913
25 Tennessee 0.7904

26 USC 0.7868

105 Notre Dame 0.1767

120 Florida International 0.0000

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 11/10/07) - "Biglerville football"

Some are calling it a miracle.
Others are still in shock.
Many residents of the Upper Adams community are pinching themselves to make sure they’re not dreaming.
Yes, it’s true — Biglerville High School had a winning football season.
And had fate crossed our path, we’d be in the playoffs this weekend.
What had to happen? If Bermudian Springs would have upset Littlestown last Friday night, Biglerville would have qualified for the post-season.
For nearly a half-hour two Fridays ago, the dream was alive: Bermudian, Biglerville’s arch-rival, was topping the Thunderbolts by a touchdown.
“I’m starting to believe,” I recall fellow Canner alum and Times sports editor Josh Martin telling me.
I even called Uncle Stan, another Biglerville graduate, to tell him the fantastic news.
“Go Bermudian,” I told him.
His response dripped with disbelief.
“I can’t believe you just said that,” Uncle Stan said.
We need them to win, I explained.
“You don’t need to actually say something like that though,” finished Uncle Stan.
Within minutes, however, hopes of a Canner post-season run vanished, as Littlestown scored twice in a 120 second period to take a 13-7 lead at halftime. The Bolts won, 28-7.
“One thing about you Biglerville people is,” colleague Jarrad Hedes told Josh and me as he comforted our broken spirits, “even though you could get into the playoffs by Bermudian winning, deep down inside, you probably still cheer for them to lose. It’s just not ethical to root for them.”
He’s right.
Go Canners.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Monday, November 05, 2007

2007 Week 10 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Ohio State 1.0000
2 Kansas 1.0000
3 Hawaii 1.0000
4 Arizona State 0.9610
5 Michigan 0.9528
6 Missouri 0.9441
7 Oregon 0.9326
8 LSU 0.9288
9 Connecticut 0.9149
10 Oklahoma 0.9095
11 West Virginia 0.9075
12 Boston College 0.9063
13 Virginia Tech 0.8974
14 Penn State 0.8673
15 Boise State 0.8389
16 Texas 0.8378
17 Purdue 0.8344
18 Florida 0.8186
19 Georgia 0.8182
20 Virginia 0.8101
21 Clemson 0.8089
22 South Florida 0.7943
23 Alabama 0.7906
24 Illinois 0.7904
25 Wisconsin 0.7888

28 USC 0.7624

38 South Carolina 0.6872

61 Navy 0.5449

96 Notre Dame 0.2169

120 Florida International 0.0000

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

On the News

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld

On Consulting

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
- Scott Adams

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Gettysburg Times: "Governor Mifflin marches through Canner Country"

Governor Mifflin crushes Canners

BY SCOT ANDREW PITZER
Times Staff Writer

Normally, it’s the Biglerville Canner offense that’s lighting up the football scoreboard.
Monday night at Musselman Stadium in Biglerville though, the Governor Mifflin Mustangs were the team putting on an offensive clinic.
The Class-AAAA Mustangs torched the Canners for nine touchdowns — eight via the running game — in a lopsided 63-21 victory.
But Canner coach Tim Hibbs emphatically stressed that the blowout would not demoralize his squad.
“We’re not looking at this loss as a program setback,” Hibbs said. “There’s a reason Governor Mifflin (8-1) is ranked fourth in Quad-A. This was a learning experience for our kids. Governor Mifflin is an example of a program that we want to become.”
Biglerville, 5-4, travels Friday to Hanover seeking its first winning season in a half decade.
“Our next game is extremely important,” Hibbs said of the season finale at Hanover. “If we’re a mature team, we’ll get the job done Friday.”
Winning seasons have been few and far between in Canner Country.
Since posting back to back winning seasons in 2001 (6-4, 5-4 in 2000), Biglerville won seven games in 1992, its most since 1977 when the Black and Gold went 7-4.
“We need that win,” Hibbs said of his team’s upcoming game. “Our school needs that win. Our community needs that win.”
Dreams of an upset, even though Biglerville actually held an early 7-6 lead Monday, were quelled by the conclusion of the first quarter, with Governor Mifflin holding a comfortable 35-7 lead.
“I told the kids at that point, just go out there and have fun,” Hibbs said.
Biglerville was again victimized by a porous rushing defense, gouged by twelve Mustang runners for nearly 500 ground yards.
The Mustangs only threw the ball once.
“We knew who they were and what they could do,” Hibbs said, “and they did exactly what we knew they could do.”
Averaging almost 40 points a game, Governor Mifflin never punted. After the opening kickoff, senior quarterback Samuel Eagleson scampered 39 yards to begin the scoring fest.
Following a failed extra point kick, the Biglerville offense struck paydirt.
On Biglerville’s first play of the game, senior quarterback Kyle Whitmoyer, who finished 8-13 for 130 yards, launched a missile to receiver Tyrel Taughinbaugh for a 70 yard touchdown.
Biglerville, after a Dan Thomas extra point kick, suddenly led the heavily favored Mustangs, and the Senior Night crowd was rocking.
But the frenzy quickly quieted.
The ensuing kickoff was returned 91 yards for a touchdown by Governor Mifflin senior George Schmidt, and after a two point conversion, the Mustangs led 14-7.
They never looked back.
Schmidt added another score, from one yard out, capitalizing on a Whitmoyer interception. The offensive fireworks continued with a 28 yard touchdown run by tailback Casey Casantini, with 3:31 remaining in the 1st quarter, and then a 52-yard rumble by Patrick Haggerty at the 2:33 mark.
Whitmoyer, under duress for most of the game, was picked off three times, and the Mustangs took advantage of every opportunity.
“They don’t leave points on the field,” Hibbs said of the Mustangs.
Two 2nd quarter scores lengthened Governor Mifflin’s lead to 49-7, and the Mercy Rule was in effect following the halftime break.
A 16-yard touchdown scramble by Whitmoyer in Biglerville’s opening drive of the second half, thanks to a long kickoff return by Parker Showers, made the score 49-14.
But the Canner defense had difficulty stopping Governor Mifflin’s second and third string units.
Sophomore Eric Wertz scored from three yards with 4:32 remaining in the third stanza.
To Biglerville’s credit, even when facing a 56-14 deficit, they didn’t quit, and put together one of their best offensive drives of the season.
Biglerville marched the ball 65 yards in 12 plays, punctuated by a half dozen bruising carries by senior running back Thomas McMaster. Parker Showers finished the drive, at the 8:30 mark in the 4th quarter, scoring from the Governor Mifflin two-yard-line.
Governor Mifflin answered with a sustained 10-play drive of its own. Sophomore Kyle Summers capped the evening’s fireworks with a seven-yard touchdown, with a half-minute to play.
“We just have to get this taste out of our mouths as soon as possible,” Hibbs said, as his seniors exchanged hugs with one another following their last game at Musselman Stadium. “We’ve worked too hard, and come too far, to have a letdown in our final game. We’ll give it everything we have.”
Scot Pitzer is a Times staff reporter.
Governor Mifflin 35 14 7 7
Biglerville 7 0 7 7
1st Quarter
GOV-Samuel Eagleson 39 yard run (extra point kick no good), 10:28
BIG-Kyle Whitmoyer 70 yard pass to Tyrel Taughinbaugh (Dan Thomas extra point), 10:13
GOV-George Schmidt 91yard kick off return (two point conversion, Eagleson pass to Casey Casantini good), 9:58
GOV-Schmidt 1 yard run (Zachary Ochs kick good), 8:53
GOV-Casantini 28 yard run, (Ochs kick good), 3:31GOV-Patrick Haggerty 52 yard run (Ochs kick good), 2:33
2nd Quarter
GOV-Casantini 29 yard run (Ochs kick good), 6:10
GOV-Brett Campbell 63 yard run (Ochs kick good), 3:27
3rd Quarter
BIG-Whitmoyer 16 yard run (Thomas kick good), 11:02
GOV-Eric Wertz 3 yard run (Ochs kick good), 4:32
4th Quarter
BIG-Parker Showers 2 yard run (Thomas kick good), 8:30
GOV-Kyle Summers 7 yard run (Ochs kick good), 0:35
Team Statistics
Gov. Big.
First Downs: 14 9
Rushing 39-494 30-92
Passing 0-1-0 8-17-3
Passing Yards 0 130
Total Yards 470 222
Individual Statistics
Rushing: GOV-George Schmidt 8-61 (1 yd TD), Samuel Eagleson 5-105 (39 yd TD), Casey Casantini 3-70 (28 yd TD, 29 yd TD), Patrick Haggerty 3-60 (52 yd TD), Brett Campbell 2-79 (63 yd TD), Joseph Apgar 1-3, Zachary Schmidt 6-29, Michael Nowotarski 3-24, Erick Wertz 1-3 (3 yd TD), Vincent Garipoli 5-43, MacLean Pearson 1-10, Kyle Summers 1-7 (7 yd TD); BIG-Kyle Whitmoyer 15-27 (16 yd TD), Tyrel Taughinbaugh 1-0, Parker Showers 6-27 (2 yd TD), Thomas McMaster 8-38
Passing: GOV-Eagleson 0-1-0-0; BIG-Whitmoyer 8-17-3 130
Receiving: BIG-Taughinbaugh 4-104 (70 yd TD), Tommy Kranias 2-14, Jared Picarelli 1-10, Zach Lieberum 1-2

Monday, October 29, 2007

2007 Week 9 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Ohio State 1.0000
2 Arizona State 1.0000
3 Kansas 1.0000
4 Boston College 1.0000
5 Hawaii 1.0000
6 Michigan 0.9396
7 West Virginia 0.9299
8 Missouri 0.9237
9 Oregon 0.9171
10 Purdue 0.9113
11 LSU 0.9073
12 Oklahoma 0.8970
13 Connecticut 0.8958
14 Virginia Tech 0.8932
15 South Florida 0.8639
16 Texas 0.8310
17 Clemson 0.8189
18 Boise State 0.8163
19 Penn State 0.8158
20 Alabama 0.8141
21 Wake Forest 0.8043
22 Georgia 0.7988
23 Virginia 0.7849
24 Florida 0.7811
25 Wisconsin 0.7770

34 USC 0.7355
35 Kentucky 0.7326

87 Notre Dame 0.2821

120 Utah State 0.0000

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 10/27/07) - "Physical Fitness"

I am not exactly in what you’d call “great shape,” but by no stretch of the imagination am I an inactive slouch.
After a seven year break from physical fitness related activities, I recently resumed an exercise routine: I do sporadic pushups, intermittent situps, and jog occasionally.
And I hunt every fall.
But nothing prepared me for what transpired last weekend: while walking across campus with friends at my college Alma Mater, one of my buddies thought it would be a great idea to race to our vehicles — parked 200 yards away.
Being the competitor that I am, I said I was up for the challenge.
Another friend also agreed to participate.
Two football fields later, after an all-out dead sprint to our cars, I (of course) was the victor.
Promptly, all three of us fell to the ground, panting like dogs.
After three minutes, one of my cronies managed to stand up.
“Let’s race back,” my pal said.
Idiotically, the three of us lined up, and ran — again. And boy was it one of the stupidest things we ever did.
On the ensuing ride to a local restaurant, all three of us were sick to our stomachs. I was barely even able to down my meal.
“That was one of the dumbest things you guys have ever done,” said one of our significant others.
At least I’ll be in shape for hunting season.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Monday, October 22, 2007

2007 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Ohio State 1.0000
2 Arizona State 1.0000
3 Boston College 1.0000
4 Kansas 1.0000
5 Hawaii 1.0000
6 LSU 0.9375
7 West Virginia 0.9320
8 Michigan 0.9306
9 Virginia Tech 0.9125
10 Missouri 0.9118
11 Connecticut 0.9111
12 South Florida 0.9084
13 Oregon 0.9077
14 Virginia 0.9034
15 Oklahoma 0.8836
16 Purdue 0.8659
17 Kentucky 0.8472
18 Florida 0.8321
19 Boise State 0.8317
20 South Carolina 0.8231
21 Wake Forest 0.8174
22 USC 0.8043
23 Penn State 0.7984
24 Texas Tech 0.7921
25 Texas A&M 0.7836


83 Notre Dame 0.3200

120 Florida International 0.0000

Thursday, October 18, 2007

On Halloween

Why is Halloween celebrated?

1. You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack
2. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you
4. No guilt the morning after
5. It doesn't matter if they fantasize that you're someone else, because you are
6. Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy
7. If you don't get what you want, just go next door
8. If you get tired, just rest for 10 minutes and start again
9. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some
10. You can do the whole neighborhood

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

PressBox Picks: week 8

Please comment with your picks...

Hanover @ Bermudian.
Fairfield @ Delone.
Middletown @ Gburg HS.
West York @ Littlestown.
NewOxford @ SouthWestern.
Biglerville @ York Tech.
Dickinson College @ Gburg College.
We Are Penn State @ Indiana.
Michigan @ Illinois.
Florida @ Kentucky.
Miama @ Fla.State.
Auburn @ LSU
Tennessee @ Alabama.
Cardinals @ Redskins.
Bucs @ Lions
Falcons @ Saints
Bears @ Philly
Steelers @ Broncos
49ers @ Giants

On "Free Advice"

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon R. Dickson

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

the Rockies win! Colorado going to the World Series



ROCKIES WIN THE PENNANT
NL champion Colorado, on 21-1 roll, dashes toward first Series
By Troy E. RenckThe Denver Post
Article Last Updated: 10/16/2007 04:49:18 AM MDT

It's impossible to stretch the truth. Hyperbole doesn't fit.
The Rockies, a team that was too young in April, too hurt in August and too far behind in September, are going to the World Series. Colorado flogged the Arizona Diamondbacks 6-4 on Monday night in Game 4 of the National League Championship Series, bullying into baseball's final act.
There's no need for TiVo. Or historical perspective. Let's just call this what it is: the greatest run ever for a team racing into the World Series. The Rockies are 21-1 since Sept. 15. They erased a four-game deficit in the wild-card standings. They ruined the Dodgers' season, threw Ragu on the Padres' painting and spoiled TV ratings by erasing the Phillies in the division series.
Not since the 1976 Cincinnati Reds had a team won its first seven playoff games. Big Red Machine, we present Up with Purple. Or perhaps Back in Black, the uniform of choice as the Rockies won their 10th consecutive game behind Matt Holliday's three-run home run and Manny Corpas' cold-hearted, four-out save.
The embarrassment of empty seats and the stench of six straight losing seasons were replaced by a Polaroid 15 seasons in developing. The flashbulbs provided evidence of the moment's significance. Denver has a new sports chapter to place among the Broncos' Super Bowls and the Avalanche's Stanley Cups. The Rockies are going to the World Series, facing either the Cleveland Indians or Boston Red Sox, starting next Wednesday on the road.
"You grow up and you watch those teams on the podium and guys talk about that experience - to be part of it is unbelievable," Rockies third baseman Garrett Atkins said. "It's a dream come true and something I will never forget."
The final out - an Eric Byrnes groundout to shortstop Troy Tulowitzki - triggered an avalanche of noise and joy, the Rockies bench emptying as the crowd erupted. Tulowitzki followed his throw across the diamond and jumped into first baseman Todd Helton's arms. Holliday ran deliriously from left field, stopping and throwing his glove into the air as pitcher Josh Fogg practically tackled him.
"I'm very thankful to be a part of this," Holliday said. "To just see the fans react and be a part of this is tremendous."
For historians, the Rockies advanced to the World Series at 11:38 p.m., though LoDo relied on fireworks, not watches, to singe the memory into a city's psyche.
Players piled onto the pitcher's mound, screaming, laughing, pulling on National League Champion T-shirts. The third champagne party in two weeks commenced in the dugout, spilling and draining into a clubhouse that has never been anything but empty this time of year.
What made this different is that it came with accompanying drama. It wasn't the trap door that everybody thought might appear - who loses one game in a month? - but the Rockies came within arm's destiny of reality in the eighth inning.
Colorado led 6-1, marching confidently toward its first National League pennant with footprints on the Diamondbacks' chest. Holliday, shaking free of his slump, blasted a 452-foot home run to dead center field off Micah Owings. It was the punctuation to another two-out rally - "That's where they have really excelled in this series," lamented Arizona general manager Josh Byrnes - that found pinch-hitter Seth Smith at the epicenter. Smith's two-run double cruelly landed at the
The five-run cushion had deflated to two, siphoning fear into a suddenly nervous crowd. Chris Snyder blasted a three-run home run off setup man Brian Fuentes and when Justin Upton tripled, it was left to Corpas to extend the expiration date on this miracle finish.
All he had to do was silence Tony Clark, a known Rockies killer, who has socks older than some of the Rockies' players. Corpas teetered, reaching a full count. Then, in a pitch that is symbolic of a team that has grown up before a state's eyes, the 24-year-old delivered a 77-mph slider that couldn't have broken more if it were a Frisbee.
This is Corpas at his best, impossible to unnerve.
"When we put him in as our closer in June, we thought he could do it, but we weren't sure," pitching coach Bob Apodaca said. "He has no fear of anything."
The ninth seemed simple by comparison, if you ignore the waving white towels, the Rockies' chants and a stadium that was stretched to its breaking point.
Byrnes tried a headfirst slide, but was never close, a moment capturing a series when the Rockies outscored Arizona 18-8.
"It hurts," Diamondbacks' manager Bob Melvin said.
No one in the crowd wanted to leave, and who could blame them? When the state woke up this morning, it shared the same question: Did this really happen? Did the Rockies really sweep their way into the World Series?
"I'm experiencing emotions I didn't even know I had," Helton said. "We are living the dream. Just can't explain it."

today's Hillary Clinton quote of the day


Hillary R. Clinton (June 2001): "I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair."

Monday, October 15, 2007

2007 Mentzer College Football Rankings - Top 25 +

1 Arizona State 1.0000
2 Ohio State 1.0000
3 South Florida 1.0000
4 Boston College 1.0000
5 Kansas 1.0000
6 Hawaii 1.0000
7 West Virginia 0.9565
8 LSU 0.9483
9 Kentucky 0.9439
10 South Carolina 0.9429
11 Virginia Tech 0.9130
12 Oregon 0.9091
13 Michigan 0.9011
14 Virginia 0.8864
15 Oklahoma 0.8829
16 Missouri 0.8824
17 Connecticut 0.8679
18 California 0.8378
19 Kansas State 0.8289
20 Auburn 0.8242
21 Texas Tech 0.8214
22 Boise State 0.8205
23 Purdue 0.8167
24 Cincinnati 0.8061
25 Tennessee 0.8043

29 USC 0.7763
30 Penn State 0.7753

85 Notre Dame 0.2949

120 Colorado State 0.0000

Penn State 38 - Wisconsin 7


Just a pic of the Nittany Lion getting passed up the senior section at the football game. My seat was pretty close to the top (which is where I snapped this picture). The lion started down on the field!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

today's Dick Cheney quote of the day


September 10, 2003: “According to a news account last month, people leaving the Democratic National Convention asked a Boston policeman for directions. He replied, "Leave here - and go vote Republican."”

On Eyesight

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
- Steven Wright

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

PressBox Picks: week 7

Please comment on this post with your picks for the following contests:

Bermudian @ Delone
Gettysburg @ Mechanicsburg
Biglerville @ Fairfield
Newport @ Hanover
York Tech @ Littlestown
Red Lion @ New Oxford
Central York @ Southwestern
Juniata @ Gettysburg College
Wisconsin @ PSU
Auburn @ Arkansas
Purdue @ Michigan
Missouri @ Oklahoma
Louisville @ Cincinnati
Washington @ Arizona State
Philly @ NY Jets
Redskins @ Packers
Titans @ Bucs
Panthers @ Cardinals
Saints @ Seahawks
Patriots @ Cowboys

On Catching the RoadRunner


It doesn't appear that this guy caught the roadrunner either, but it's an attempt that does Wile E. Coyote proud.

On Politics

You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.
- Senator Patrick Leahy

On Telekinetics

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
- Kurt Vonnegut

On Man's Best Friend

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
- Doug Larson

On Geometry

The world is round; it has no point.
- Adrienne E. Gusoff

On Functions

There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
- Georges Clemenceau

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


Al Gore, during the televised 1999 Presidential debates:
"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet."

Monday, October 08, 2007

"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --George W. Bush, the Decider, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

2007 College Football - Mentzer Rankings - After Week 6

Next week will contain only the top 25 and may contain some other notables if not in the top 25 (i.e. Penn State and Notre Dame)

1 LSU 1.0000
2 Arizona State 1.0000
3 Ohio State 1.0000
4 South Florida 1.0000
5 Cincinnati 1.0000
6 Boston College 1.0000
7 Missouri 1.0000
8 California 1.0000
9 Connecticut 1.0000
10 Kansas 1.0000
11 Hawaii 1.0000
12 Illinois 0.9595
13 South Carolina 0.9589
14 West Virginia 0.9474
15 Oregon 0.9474
16 Virginia Tech 0.9412
17 Purdue 0.9333
18 Kentucky 0.9091
19 Wisconsin 0.9038
20 Indiana 0.9020
21 Virginia 0.8868
22 Oklahoma 0.8806
23 Michigan 0.8571
24 Colorado 0.8462
25 Auburn 0.8406
26 Florida State 0.8226
27 Wyoming 0.8222
28 Mississippi State 0.8222
29 Texas A&M 0.8125
30 Florida 0.8125
31 Nebraska 0.8103
32 Boise State 0.7966
33 USC 0.7966
34 Tennessee 0.7736
35 Wake Forest 0.7660
36 Georgia 0.7407
37 Texas Tech 0.7407
38 Kansas State 0.7391
39 Central Michigan 0.7317
40 Texas 0.7193
41 Akron 0.7143
42 Maryland 0.7083
43 Penn State 0.7045
44 Alabama 0.6852
45 Rutgers 0.6579
46 Air Force 0.6462
47 Troy 0.6346
48 Miami (FL) 0.6290
49 Michigan State 0.6271
50 Brigham Young 0.6154
51 Clemson 0.6136
52 Tulsa 0.6087
53 Bowling Green 0.6000
54 Fresno State 0.6000
55 Texas El-Paso 0.5849
56 Georgia Tech 0.5682
57 Stanford 0.5660
58 UCLA 0.5543
59 Navy 0.5517
60 Oklahoma State 0.5484
61 East Carolina 0.5439
62 New Mexico 0.5319
63 Arkansas 0.5152
64 Vanderbilt 0.5128
65 Northwestern 0.5000
66 Oregon State 0.5000
67 Ball State 0.4925
68 Washington 0.4902
69 Miami (OH) 0.4833
70 Utah 0.4730
71 New Mexico State 0.4615
72 North Carolina 0.4286
73 Florida Atlantic 0.4103
74 Baylor 0.4082
75 Army 0.3889
76 TCU 0.3864
77 Central Florida 0.3846
78 Western Kentucky 0.3793
79 Southern Mississippi 0.3519
80 UNLV 0.3455
81 Kent State 0.3333
82 Pittsburgh 0.3333
83 Nevada 0.3265
84 San Jose State 0.3143
85 Western Michigan 0.3143
86 Notre Dame 0.3134
87 Minnesota 0.3077
88 Arizona 0.2653
89 Duke 0.2632
90 Washington State 0.2553
91 Mississippi 0.2326
92 Toledo 0.2273
93 Iowa 0.2241
94 Louisiana-Monroe 0.2200
95 Houston 0.2162
96 Buffalo 0.2154
97 Arkansas State 0.2128
98 Louisville 0.2097
99 San Diego State 0.2069
100 Rice 0.1961
101 Marshall 0.1786
102 Syracuse 0.1594
103 Eastern Michigan 0.1579
104 Iowa State 0.1429
105 Ohio 0.1429
106 Temple 0.0923
107 Louisiana Tech 0.0857
108 Alabama-Birmingham 0.0769
109 Tulane 0.0698
110 Northern Illinois 0.0602
111 Southern Methodist 0.0566
112 Louisiana-Lafayette 0.0556
113 Middle Tennessee State 0.0556
114 North Carolina State 0.0556
115 Memphis 0.0476
116 Idaho 0.0405
117 Colorado State 0.0000
118 Utah State 0.0000
119 Florida International 0.0000
120 North Texas 0.0000

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gburg Times: 10/06/07 - "Don't forget to lay your tip"

Upon returning to my table at Dunlaps earlier this week, after paying my lunch bill, I noticed that the dollar I had previously laid for a tip was no longer situated near my plate.
Instead, the dollar had mysteriously drifted two feet toward the left, and was now in the area where colleague Jarrad Hedes had been sitting, directly across from where photographer Bill Schwartz had dined.
The dollar was conveniently atop another $1 bill, likely from Jarrad’s wallet. And the youngster, it appeared, was ready to pounce on Bill’s ensuing tip.
“What’s this?” I recall asking Jarrad. “It looks like I’m being stingy, and that you’re the only one laying down a tip.”
His reply...
“Yeah,” he said, “I always do that.”
Oh really?
Waitresses across Adams County likely believe that I’ve been stifing them.
That, of course, would explain my periodic half-servings and platters of cold food.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

GETTYSBURG TIMES: Gburg leaders content with updated zoning ordinance (10/04/07)

"Height limitations worry officials"

BY SCOT ANDREW PITZER
Times Staff Writer

GETTYSBURG: Officials representing three Gettysburg Borough governing panels — Gettysburg Borough Council, the Gettysburg Planning Commission, and the Historical Architectural Review Board (HARB) — convened Wednesday afternoon at Borough Hall to peruse the latest draft of the town’s revised zoning ordinance.
The 150-page document, which was heavily doctored by the Planning Commission and West Chester consultant Tom Comitta, is being revised an eleventh time, and will likely focus on ideas pitched Wednesday concerning building height.
Last year, backed by a $25,000 grant, the municipality hired Comitta to assist the Planning Commission in its quest to update the borough’s zoning code.
“There has been some confusion about this zoning ordinance process,” town planner Rad Schultz said during Wednesday’s two hour meeting. “We were assigned the role of tweaking this ordinance. The borough didn’t have the money for an overhaul. For this to be done properly, the borough should do a comprehensive plan. A lot of this stuff, and the things we’ve heard, belong in a comprehensive plan.”
Wednesday’s workshop was attended by six councilors, four planning commissioners, Comitta and several HARB members, as well as high-ranking individuals from Gettysburg Hospital, Gettysburg College, and a legal team representing local developer Dave Sites.
The borough’s Zoning Hearing Board, a quasi-judicial panel that regulates Gettysburg’s zoning ordinance, submitted written comments via the board’s solicitor.
“Now that we’re cleaning this up internally, the next step is releasing it to the public and having a public hearing,” said Council President Ted Streeter.
Town leaders, throughout the duration of the workshop, questioned the intent of the ordinance.
“Isn’t the purpose of a document like this to tell our Zoning Hearing Board what the rules are?” asked Councilwoman Holly Giles. “We’re trying to tighten it up so that they don’t have any questions when the ordinance is challenged.”
The borough’s Zoning Hearing Board is called upon when project applicants seek waivers to the municipality’s land-use regulations or zoning protocol.
“The purpose of a zoning ordinance is to make it more difficult to get variances,” said HARB member Gary Shaffer. “You have to prove a hardship.”
The majority of Wednesday’s discussion involved ordinance definitions, height limitations, apartment unit sizes, and streetscape appearances.
“Every legal use has to be taken into account,” explained town planner Walton V. Davis regarding ordinance definitions. “There are some exceptions — we don’t need to define or zone for spinach farms.”
A handful of the definitions within the revised zoning ordinance — particularly adult movie theater, build-to lines, industrial operations and mobile home park — raised eyebrows Wednesday afternoon.
“Why have definitions of a mobile home park?” questioned Streeter. “We’re not going to have them in Gettysburg. Or an open door firing range or a truck terminal. But my understanding is that, legally, we have to define these uses.”
Building height has been a controversial issue ever since the municipality hired Comitta last year to update the zoning ordinance. Some officials feel the that the historic Civil War town, presently a three-story borough, should become a four-story town, but others disagree.
“Our thinking behind this was maintaining the streetscapes and corridors,” said Schultz. “When people drive into town, we want the heights to have a neighborhood feel.”
Lincoln Square possesses the town’s tallest buildings, with the Gettysburg Hotel (six stories) and Wills House (three and a half stories), abutted by Carlisle Street, which is home to the Majestic Theater (four stories), and Chambersburg Street, home of the James Gettys Hotel (four stories).
“They are historic structures,” Giles said. “But I don’t know if we want a six-story building on Carlisle Street in the middle of town.”]
Councilman Bill Monahan concurred: “I would have a problem with a building that doesn’t fit in with the architecture of a given street.”
Town planner Ramona Overton explained how the Planning Commission devised its proposed height restrictions.
“It’s a wedding cake theory,” Overton told officials Wednesday afternoon. “What the planning commission decided was: we liked taller buildings in the center of town. The buildings should be taller in the center, and smaller as you progress into the suburbs. If you put a four-story building beside a two-story building, it will be noticed. It is a difference.”
In most of the borough’s districts, height is limited to 45 feet or three stories.
“It affects our streetscape,” said Schultz. “We didn’t want to change the character of Gettysburg, or our main streets.”
But with the new zoning, in the Institutional (Gettysburg College) and Healthcare (Gettysburg Hospital) districts, a building — the revised ordinance states — may be constructed “to a height greater and a number of stories taller than is specified for the district, provided that the required front and side yard requirements are increased one foot of additional height up to a maximum” total building height of 75 feet and five stories.
“We know that the Healthcare (district) needs to go up,” said Overton regarding Gettysburg Hospital's tentative plans to build a multi-story parking deck, and add at least two floors to its present day facility. “It won’t affect them. And in the Institutional zone, it won’t affect the college. They can go four stories or higher.”
Shaffer opined that limiting building height to three stories would hinder economic development in some areas of town, particularly in the REDDI zone along the borough’s railroad corridor.
“I really don’t think REDDI is going to work with a three-story limit,” Shaffer said. “Some of the things I’ve seen or heard that are being planned are four-stories. I don’t see the threat of allowing four stories in the REDDI zone. My only suggestion is that in certain core areas, four stories be allowed.”
As long as multi-level buildings aren’t out of place along a particular street, planning commission members indicated that they were in favor of Shaffer’s suggestion.
“I have no problem with the REDDI area and height,” said Schultz. “It’s along the railroad tracks and tucked away.”
Going more than three stories tall in other areas of the borough might require further investigation.
“If we go four stories, that is a major change to Gettysburg,” Schultz said. “We weren’t supposed to change Gettysburg. We were just supposed to tweak the ordinance. That is a major change, and will require a major study.”
Borough leaders instructed Comitta to incorporate the building height ideas in the zoning ordinance's ensuing 11th draft.
“I’d suggest that some kind of flexibility be written into this so hardships don’t deter people from pursuing projects here,” Streeter said.
Generally, officials who attended Wednesday’s session indicated that they were pleased with the zoning document. No major changes are imminent.A
public hearing hasn’t been planned, and the zoning ordinance must be reviewed by the Adams County planning office.
Contact Scot Pitzer at 334-1131, ext. 247 or spitzer@gburgtimes.com.

On Ease of Life

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
- Cullen Hightower

On Intelligence

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

i need your help: Week 5 Pressbox Pics

Who do ya'll think will win the following games?

Eastern York @ Bermudian
Delone Catholic @ Biglerville
Palmyra @ Gettysburg
Littlestown @ Fairfield
New Oxford @ Spring Grove
South Western @ Red Lion
Hanover @ York Tech
Gettysburg @ Moravian
Iowa @ Penn State
Florida @ LSU
Oklahoma @ Texas
Georgia @ Tennessee
Va.Tech @ Clemson
Cincinnati @ Rutgers
Seahawks @ Steelers
Ravens @ 49ers
Bears @ Packers
Cardinals @ Rams
Panthers @ Saints
Jaguars @ Chiefs

Bulger benched. Frerotte named Rams starter.




Rams replace injured Bulger with Frerotte: Two-time Pro Bowl quarterback dealing with two broken ribs

ST. LOUIS - St. Louis Rams quarterback Marc Bulger, who has been playing with two broken ribs, will be replaced by backup Gus Frerotte for Sunday’s home game against Arizona.
“Bulger is hurt, and Frerotte is the quarterback until Bulger’s ribs heal,” Rams spokesman Rick Smith said.
Coach Scott Linehan told both quarterbacks Tuesday.
The 36-year-old Frerotte started 15 games in 2005 for Miami, where Linehan was the offensive coordinator at the time. Bulger will be Frerotte’s backup against the Cardinals (2-2) on Sunday.
“If he has to, he will play,” Smith said.
It’s unclear how long it will take Bulger to heal after injuring the ribs in the season-opening loss to Carolina.
Bulger, who signed a six-year, $65 million contract extension in training camp, has been playing behind a patchwork offensive line decimated by injuries. Left tackle Orlando Pace and guard Mark Setterstrom are out all season with injuries, and guard Richie Incognito has yet to play because of a high ankle sprain.
A two-time Pro Bowl player, Bulger has been ineffective most of the season, part of the reason the Rams are 0-4. In a 35-7 loss Sunday at Dallas, Bulger was 11-of-24 for 114 yards and an interception. St. Louis’ lone score came on a punt return. In fact, the Rams haven’t scored an offensive touchdown since Week 2.
The change at quarterback came after Linehan had said Sunday and Monday that Bulger gave the Rams the best chance to win.

On Being Lost

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

PLAYOFF BOUND: the Rockies win in dramatic fashion to clinch NL playoff birth


DENVER (AP) -- They played as if they never wanted the season to end, and they had already gotten an extra day.

The NL wild card came down to a wild, 13-inning finish Monday night that put Matt Holliday and the Colorado Rockies into the playoffs and sent Trevor Hoffman and the San Diego Padres home weary and dazed.

Holliday raced home on Jamey Carroll's shallow fly ball, capping a three-run rally against the all-time saves leader, giving the Rockies a 9-8 win in baseball's longest one-game tiebreaker.

"It's been an incredible run from Game 1 to Game 163," Rockies manager Clint Hurdle said. "This is just a snapshot of what we've been through."

After Scott Hairston's two-run homer put the Padres ahead in the top of the 13th, Colorado came back against Hoffman.

The Rockies won for the 14th time in 15 games and advanced to play at Philadelphia in the first round starting Wednesday.

Colorado trailed 8-6 when Kaz Matsui and Troy Tulowitzki, who had four hits, lined back-to-back doubles off Hoffman. Then Holliday tripled off the wall in right to tie it.

After Todd Helton was intentionally walked, Carroll lined out to right fielder Brian Giles.
Giles' throw home bounced in front of catcher Michael Barrett, who couldn't hold on as Holliday swiped the plate, then lay face-down after cutting his chin with his headfirst slide.

Umpire Tim McClelland made a delayed safe call, and replays were inconclusive on whether Holliday touched the plate with his left hand or was blocked by Barrett's left foot.

Holliday said he wasn't sure if he touched the plate, although the ball bounced away anyway.

"The ump said I was safe," Holliday said. "I don't remember. But I hit my chin pretty good. I got stepped on and banged my chin. I'm all right."

Said Padres manager Bud Black: "It looked to me like he did get it."

While their MVP candidate was on the ground bleeding, the rest of the Rockies were celebrating.
Hoffman (4-5) could do little but walk off the mound with his head down. The closer, who has 524 career saves, blew his seventh chance in 49 tries this year.

On Saturday, Hoffman was one strike from clinching a playoff spot when Tony Gwynn Jr. hit a tying triple for Milwaukee, which went on to win 4-3 in 11 innings.

"I'm having a hard time expressing myself right now," Hoffman said. "I wish I could, but I can't after what happened tonight."

The Rockies won the longest game at Coors Field this season behind Holliday, the MVP candidate who clinched the NL batting title at .340. His triple also gave him the league RBI crown with 137, one more than Philadelphia's Ryan Howard.

It was sweet atonement for Holliday, who misplayed Giles' two-out flyball in the eighth inning into a tying RBI double.

"I'm glad we won or that might have haunted me for the rest of my life," Holliday said. "It worked out, and luckily I don't have to think about it."

Carroll entered as a pinch-runner in the seventh and stayed in to play third base. He got one hit before finding himself in position to hit the sacrifice fly that won it.

"I was just trying to get a ball up in the zone," Carroll said. "Had a guy at third. Matty did a great job. Matty ran his butt off. I am so happy that we get this opportunity to go on."

Ramon Ortiz (1-0) got the win. He was the Rockies' 10th pitcher, taking over after Jorge Julio gave up Hairston's homer.

"All we kept saying was 'hold 'em at two, hold 'em at two,'" Hurdle said.

The Rockies are headed to the playoffs for the first time since 1995, when they lost to Atlanta in the first round.

After stranding runners at second in the 10th, 11th and 12th off Matt Herges, the Padres broke through against Julio. Giles drew a leadoff walk and Hairston homered into the bleachers in left-center.

The Rockies didn't flinch.

Colorado and San Diego were tied at 6 in the first play-in game since the New York Mets beat Cincinnati 5-0 for the 1999 NL wild card.

In the bottom of the eighth, Holliday compounded his blunder in the field by stranding the go-ahead run at second when he whiffed against Heath Bell, who relieved ineffective Padres ace Jake Peavy.

Manny Corpas went 1-2-3 in the top of the ninth, and Bell sent the game into extra innings by retiring the side in the bottom half, stranding the potential winning run at first base.

The big hit for Colorado earlier came from September callup Seth Smith, who tripled in the sixth and scored on Matsui's shallow sacrifice fly for a 6-5 lead.

Colorado went ahead 3-0 early only to watch Adrian Gonzalez erase the margin with his first career grand slam in a five-run third inning, which Peavy ignited with a single.

The Rockies came back to tie on Helton's 17th homer in the bottom half and Holliday's RBI single in the fifth off Peavy, who looked little like the Cy Young Award candidate he's been this season.

Peavy allowed six runs and 10 hits in 6 1/3 innings. He failed in his bid for his 20th win -- Boston's Josh Beckett was the only pitcher this year to achieve the feat.

Rockies starter Josh Fogg gave up five runs and eight hits in four-plus innings.

The Rockies won a franchise-best 90 games and are owners of the second-best record in the majors since mid-May.

Helton, the subject of trade rumors last winter, is heading to the postseason for the first time in his 11-year career. His 1,578 games in the majors are the third-most by any active player without a playoff appearance.

"That's the best shower I ever had in my life," a drenched Helton said in the clubhouse. "I never knew champagne could feel so good."

* * * * * * * *

Monday, October 01, 2007

2007 College Football - 1st Mentzer Rankings

1. LSU 1.0000
2. Kentucky 1.0000
3. South Florida 1.0000
4. Wisconsin 1.0000
5. USC 1.0000
6. California 1.0000
7. Arizona State 1.0000
8. Ohio State 1.0000
9. Boston College 1.0000
10. Connecticut 1.0000
11. Cincinnati 1.0000
12. Missouri 1.0000
13. Purdue 1.0000
14. Hawaii 1.0000
15. Kansas 1.0000
16. Nebraska 0.9318
17. Illinois 0.9268
18. South Carolina 0.9250
19. Oregon 0.9231
20. West Virginia 0.9143
21. Michigan State 0.9091
22. Virginia Tech 0.8800
23. Georgia 0.8649
24. Indiana 0.8649
25. Virginia 0.8500
26. Texas 0.8372
27. Florida State 0.8293
28. Oklahoma 0.8140
29. Florida 0.8125
30. Miami (FL) 0.8056
31. Texas A&M 0.8000
32. Auburn 0.7885
33. Bowling Green 0.7826
34. Tulsa 0.7813
35. Colorado 0.7805
36. Mississippi State 0.7714
37. Kansas State 0.7692
38. Michigan 0.7333
39. Boise State 0.7297
40. Wyoming 0.7241
41. Brigham Young 0.7143
42. Clemson 0.7143
43. UCLA 0.7119
44. Texas Tech 0.7059
45. Wake Forest 0.7037
46. Georgia Tech 0.7000
47. Central Florida 0.6842
48. Rutgers 0.6774
49. Alabama 0.6757
50. Tennessee 0.6667
51. Vanderbilt 0.6538
52. Oklahoma State 0.6444
53. Akron 0.6129
54. Maryland 0.5938
55. Air Force 0.5870
56. Troy 0.5789
57. Washington 0.5758
58. Navy 0.5714
59. Central Michigan 0.5714
60. Ball State 0.5652
61. New Mexico 0.5581
62. Florida Atlantic 0.5357
63. Kent State 0.5357
64. TCU 0.5000
65. Arkansas 0.5000
66. New Mexico State 0.4872
67. Texas El-Paso 0.4857
68. Penn State 0.4583
69. Western Kentucky 0.4583
70. UNLV 0.4516
71. Southern Mississippi 0.4483
72. Fresno State 0.4211
73. Arkansas State 0.4167
74. Pittsburgh 0.4167
75. Oregon State 0.4167
76. Nevada 0.4118
77. Utah 0.4074
78. Baylor 0.4074
79. Miami (OH) 0.4048
80. East Carolina 0.3939
81. Western Michigan 0.3913
82. Louisville 0.3514
83. Washington State 0.3448
84. Minnesota 0.3438
85. Arizona 0.3429
86. Northwestern 0.3333
87. Iowa 0.3250
88. Houston 0.3077
89. Stanford 0.3043
90. Duke 0.2647
91. Eastern Michigan 0.2368
92. Ohio 0.2222
93. San Jose State 0.2222
94. Army 0.2222
95. Toledo 0.2121
96. Iowa State 0.2045
97. Syracuse 0.2000
98. Mississippi 0.1786
99. Louisiana Tech 0.1667
100. Alabama-Birmingham 0.1500
101. San Diego State 0.1429
102. Tulane 0.1200
103. Northern Illinois 0.1087
104. North Carolina 0.1000
105. North Carolina State 0.1000
106. Memphis 0.0909
107. Middle Tennessee State 0.0857
108. Southern Methodist 0.0750
109. Buffalo 0.0732
110. Idaho 0.0732
111. Marshall 0.0000
112. Louisiana-Monroe 0.0000
113. Rice 0.0000
114. Colorado State 0.0000
115. Notre Dame 0.0000
116. Louisiana-Lafayette 0.0000
117. North Texas 0.0000
118. Florida International 0.0000
119. Temple 0.0000
120. Utah State 0.0000

the Fightin' Phils are going to the playoffs!



"Phils taste sweet victory - Many years of frustration end at last"

By Jim Salisbury
Inquirer Columnist

For the last 14 years, starting with Joe Carter's crushing home run in the 1993 World Series, the baseball environment in Philadelphia has been dominated by disappointment, frustration and even anger.
Sure, there were times when the sun peeked briefly through the gray clouds. Jim Thome's signing in 2002, the opening of Citizens Bank Park in 2004, and Ryan Howard's MVP season of 2006 all come to mind.
Ultimately, though, the disappointment and frustration continued as the Phillies time and time again retreated behind the dark clouds and failed to make the playoffs. Maybe that's why this all tastes so sweet.
The fog has lifted. The sun is out. The Phillies are champions of the National League East.
Go ahead, roll that around your palate and savor the flavor a little. You deserve it. It's been a long time between drinks of champagne.
The Phillies are champions of the National League East.
Shout it from rooftops and paint it on fences. For the first time since 1993, the baseball season will continue beyond the final day of the regular season in Philadelphia. The Phillies are going to the postseason. They are one of eight teams who will have a chance of winning the World Series.
"We're in!" an ecstatic Chase Utley shouted between swigs of champagne after yesterday's emotional, division-clinching, 6-1 victory over the Washington Nationals.
"And once you're in, anything can happen."
They're in.
In some ways it seems mind-boggling to even say that. This team, after all, started the season 4-11. Injuries ravaged the roster. Inconsistency and ineffectiveness plagued the pitching staff.
But through it all, the Phils did what they do best: They scrapped. They battled. They got up every time someone knocked them down. If there was ever a season in which they earned their moniker, Fightin' Phils, it was this one.
"I've never been around a team that likes to play the game more and has better chemistry than these guys," manager Charlie Manuel said.
Tough. Resilient. Courageous. These Phillies are also opportunistic.
They finished the regular season with 13 wins in their final 17 games to overtake the New York Mets, who (poor things) suffered through a historic disintegration, just as the Phils did in 1964. The Mets led the Phillies by seven games with 17 to play. They lost 12 of those games, including yesterday's finale, 8-1, to the Florida Marlins.
Had the Mets won yesterday, they would have squared off in a one-game playoff with the Phillies. Had both teams lost yesterday, there also would have been a playoff.
But there was no way the Phillies were losing yesterday, not after the Mets were trailing, 7-0, before the Phillies' game had even begun, not with the 24th sellout crowd of the season whooping it up, turning the stands into a delirious block party.
There was no way the Phillies were losing with Jimmy Rollins driving in a run with his 20th triple, Howard hitting his 47th home run, and Jamie Moyer pitching the way he did.
How 'bout that Rollins guy? Before the season, he said the Phillies were the team to beat in the NL East. The little guy was right - and he's honest. After the win, he admitted the comment was a burden, but not enough of a burden to prevent him from putting up an MVP-worthy season.
And how 'bout that Moyer guy? At age 44, in the biggest game of his life, with the season on the line, he delivered 51/3 gutsy innings and did not allow an earned run. The Old Man and the Season reeled in the Phillies biggest win in 14 years.
"This is what you lay in bed dreaming about as a kid," Moyer said in the din of the Phillies' postgame clubhouse party.
Much has happened since the Phillies last popped champagne corks, and most of it wasn't good.
They had the worst record in the NL a few times, played in front of ghost-town-sized crowds at Veterans Stadium, and were snubbed by a draft pick named J.D. Drew. Ownership was criticized for being cheap and not committed to winning, and there were times when the shoe did fit. Two big stars, Curt Schilling and Scott Rolen, ripped management and got themselves traded. The Phils were eliminated from playoff contention on the final weekend of the last two seasons. The franchise suffered its 10,000th defeat, the most in pro sports, this year.
There were losses off the field, too. Richie Ashburn, Paul Owens and Tug McGraw all passed away. In March, another great and beloved Phillie, John Vukovich, left us. Throughout this late-season surge, you couldn't help but get the feeling Vuke was up there, waving his right arm, sending the Phillies home.
"Vuke would have loved this team's heart," Rollins said.
One scrappy team. One electrifying season. One division championship. Suddenly, the sun is out over Philadelphia baseball.
"A lot of big disappointments have been washed away today," said team chairman Bill Giles, who has lived through the last 14 years. "There was no reason to believe we'd win the division 20 days ago. But the character, heart and optimism this team showed is unbelievable."

Sunday, September 30, 2007

"Cover your mouth!"


This picture was taken in order to study sneezing's effects on aerosolizing microbials (a few decades ago) and presented in my recent pulmonology lecture. Highly specific and directional light sources were used to visualize how much crap was actually flying out of this guy!!!

GROSS!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

On Hunting



Got toilet paper?

On the Steelers

A Pittsburgh Steelers fan is drinking in a Cleveland bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Pittsburgh baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Steelers fan just shrugs and replies, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Pittsburgh baby boy. He's gonna be a Pittsburgh Steelers football player ."

Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Pittsburgh baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."

The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

The father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

Monday, September 24, 2007

how to beat Michigan: did the PSU coaching staff not watch the Appalachian State or Oregon games?

The blueprint for beating Michigan - running a spread offense and throwing the ball downfield - was obviously clear to everyone except the PSU coaching staff.

Oregon and a Division I-double A school hung 40 points a piece on the mighty Wolverines.

Naturally, PSU manages three field goals.

Pathetic.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

i am sitting here watching the Penn State & Michigan game...


...and honestly, watching Penn State's offense is as exciting as watching paint dry.
Seriously.
This offense might be even more inept than the Orioles lineup.

Friday, September 21, 2007

On Meteorology

IT WAS ALREADY LATE FALL AND THE INDIANS ON A REMOTE RESERVATION IN SOUTH DAKOTA ASKED THEIR NEW CHIEF IF THE COMING WINTER WAS GOING TO BE COLD OR MILD.

SINCE HE WAS A CHIEF IN A MODERN SOCIETY HE HAD NEVER BEEN TAUGHT THE OLD SECRETS. WHEN HE LOOKED AT THE SKY HE COULD NOT TELL WHAT THE WINTER WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.

NEVERTHELESS, TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, HE TOLD HIS TRIBE THAT THE WINTER WAS INDEED GOING TO BE COLD AND THAT THE MEMBERS OF THE VILLAGE SHOULD COLLECT FIREWOOD TO BE PREPARED.

BUT BEING A PRACTICAL LEADER, AFTER SEVERAL DAYS HE GOT AN IDEA. HE WENT TO THE PHONE BOOTH, CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AND ASKED, "IS THE COMING WINTER GOING TO BE COLD?"

"IT LOOKS LIKE THIS WINTER IS GOING TO BE QUITE COLD," THE METEOROLOGIST AT THE WEATHER SERVICE RESPONDED.

SO THE CHIEF WENT BACK TO HIS PEOPLE AND TOLD THEM TO COLLECT EVEN MORE FIREWOOD IN ORDER TO BE PREPARED.

A WEEK LATER HE CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN. "DOES IT STILL LOOK LIKE IT IS GOING TO BE A VERY COLD WINTER?"

"YES," THE MAN AT NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN REPLIED, "IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY COLD WINTER."

THE CHIEF AGAIN WENT BACK TO HIS PEOPLE AND ORDERED THEM TO COLLECT EVERY SCRAP OF FIREWOOD THEY COULD FIND.

TWO WEEKS LATER THE CHIEF CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN. "ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE WINTER IS GOING TO BE VERY COLD?"

"ABSOLUTELY," THE MAN REPLIED. "IT'S LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE IT IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE COLDEST WINTERS WE'VE EVER SEEN."

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?" THE CHIEF ASKED.

THE WEATHERMAN REPLIED, "THE INDIANS ARE COLLECTING FIREWOOD LIKE CRAZY."

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Reporters Notebook (gburg times: 092207): "Bermudian"

I was talking football with my Uncle Jeff at a recent family picnic, particularly about a Penn State running back who is now in the pros.
“He’s got natural talent,” I recall Uncle Jeff saying. “One of the best athletes I’ve ever seen. He leaves it all on the field.”
My response was naturally clever.
“Kinda like me when I was in school,” I said.
Across the picnic table, Aunt Connie blew me kisses.
Beside me, Aunt Sharon rolled her eyes.
Coincidentally, she’s a Bermudian graduate.
(I love her anyway, though.)
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

On Hell

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..., leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

- University of Washington chemistry student

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

today's Al Gore quote of the day


"I won't take all of the credit, but I did invent the Internet." - Al Gore, April 1999.

Friday, September 14, 2007

On Stupid Questions

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
- Scott Adams

Thursday, September 13, 2007

On Management

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
- Casey Stengel

On Fear

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
- Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

On College Football

Through the first 2 games of the season, the Notre Dame defensive unit has scored more points (7) than the Notre Dame offensive unit (3).

Through the first 2 games of the season, the Penn State offensive unit has surrendered more points (7) than the Penn State defensive unit (3).

Monday, September 10, 2007

Friday, September 07, 2007

Reporters Notebook (Gburg Times: 090807): "Major Upset at Holiday Wiffleball Bash"


Hear about the weekend’s big upset?
No, not Appalachian State’s shocking defeat of Michigan.
I’m talking about the Aunts & Uncles squad’s stunning conquer of the Nieces & Nephews team during Monday afternoon’s Holiday Wiffleball Bash at Mentzer Stadium.
“Unbelievable,” Uncle Stan said during the post-game handshake, immediately following his team’s thrilling 11-10 come from behind win.
The game featured what wiffleball pundits would call “a little bit of everything” — controversy, close calls, a grand slam, baserunning blunders, defensive lapses, and frames where at least a half-dozen runs were scored. (And believe it or not, all of that happened in the top of the first!)
Desperate for their first win in three years, the Aunts & Uncles turned to veteran right-hander Uncle Jeff, while the Nieces & Nephews put their trust in the dependable arm of Jamie Lynn Pitzer, making her first start at Mentzer Stadium since last Labor Day.
Pitzer was a tad rusty, as Uncle Jeff took the first pitch thrown from her hand deep over the vehicle-lined left field fence for a homerun. Several batters later, my Dad crushed a grand slam, giving the Aunts & Uncles a seemingly insurmountable 6-0 lead.
But the Nieces & Nephews rallied.
Missing the services of longtime firstbaseman Meagan Sterner due to sickness, and utility infielder Shelley Sterner (who had just gotten her nails done), the Nieces & Nephews were led by the young likes of fifth-grader Kaila May, nine-year-old Stephen Mentzer, sixth-grader Marty May, and middle-schooler Ryan Mentzer. Kaila May’s double to deep centerfield in the middle innings knotted the score at six, bringing the capacity crowd of Grandma and several aunts to their feet.
With the Nieces & Nephews clinging to a 10-8 lead in the bottom of the last inning, the Aunts & Uncles — aided by a controversial play at the plate — scored three runs for a walkoff victory, capped by Uncle Stan’s single up the middle scoring Uncle Dan.
“That was my only hit in five at-bats,” Uncle Stan told the Gettysburg Times. “We just wanted it more.”
Uncle Jeff added: “We were the only ones in the whole stadium who actually thought we could win this game. We believed.”
Believe it: Aunts & Uncles win 11-10.
(Tickets are already on-sale for next year.)
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer