Monday, January 31, 2005

Iraq Update

Is the election in Iraq a triumph of Clinton policy? Should the GOP say so?

O's Update

For those among us looking for a little pick me up.

Go figure...

Neither Biglerville or Eastern was invited to the AA team tourney this year.

I think the championship is up for grabs... and I would find my way to Hershey to see Bermudian and Delone wrestle in it. But I think Brandywine could find its way there and even Donegal.

I would have liked to have seen that Donegal/Eastern match take place.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Way to go Arnie!

Lest anyone ever think that Arnold Palmer could be outdone by Tiger Woods, it looks like there's still some life left in the old putter.

O's update (re: Say it ain't So...sa)

If Ray is happy, I suppose I should be happy too.

The encouraging quote from the above link is:

Maybe I'm putting my foot in my mouth, but if you give me eight runs a game, I'll figure out the rest.

- Ray Miller (Orioles pitching coach/Svengali)

Ray Miller has made a bold statement with regard to his lowly regarded pitching staff for the 2nd time this offseason. I've never heard Ray Miller talk like this. The first statement he made was that if his staff pitches next season like they pitched the 2nd half of last season, the Orioles will win 20 more games. Coincidentally, Ray Miller joined the O's staff just prior to mid-season last year. Last season, the O's won 78 games. This statement from Miller basically translates to If these guys pitch the way I tell 'em to pitch, the Orioles will win 98 games.

I don't know if Ray actually believes this, or if he's just trying to put hinies in the seats. There is evidence to indicate that he believes it. In the 70's and early 80's (Miller's first stint as Orioles pitching coach), the financial disparity between the Orioles franchise and that of the Yankees and Red Sox was the same as it is today. Yet in those days, the Orioles routinely contended for the division title and won their fair share of same. It is reasonable to suspect that 98 victories can win the division.

It does not feel like the old Orioles glory days to me, but maybe it does to Ray Miller. Here's hoping this Rasputin isn't just yanking my chain.

Yankee or Dixie

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

Who saw this coming?

I guess if the O's aren't going to stop them from scoring runs, they better be able to score a lot. They must think that Slammin Sammy Sosa might be able to help them score more, unless he can pitch too.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Another Wrestling Update: Bermudian Springs at Biglerville

Results are in from the 01/27/05 battle at Biglerville High School.

Bermudian 31
Biglerville 29

Biglerville led 29-26 going into the final bout at 160.

Both teams deducted one team point for unsportsmanlike conduct by coaches.

SUMMARY: Biglerville wrestled the best match they could have. Bermudian will go far in the DIII Team Tourney...

A little funny

A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you nuts?!?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded.

"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

HS Wrestling Results are In!!!

01/26/05: From the CannerDome in Biglerville

Biglerville 37

Hanover 19

Hooooooly Cow.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

O's Update

I guess we all suspected that this was coming.

Monday, January 24, 2005

BREAKING NEWS

My blogging sources have informed me that a nuclear powerplant in Michigan has been shut down indefinitely for releasing 80 gallons of waste into the environment. No word yet on whether or not the waste was radio active.

This information has not made its way to the corporate media yet.

It could be very fake info. But you saw it here first.

Johnny Carson - RIP

In memory of Johnny, here's an audio link to the Copper Clapper Caper , a bit Johnny did with Jack Webb (Dragnet's Joe Friday) on the Tonight Show.


Buckley pans Bush

Here.

O's still hangin around

More promising gossip for the O's faithful.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

O's Update

Some gossip to raise the hopes of the faithful.

Nemesis Update

Free Advice contributor and NCAA collegiate wrestler dsterner has a new nemesis in the person of Wade Ginter - a junior 133 lb wrestler for Albright College.

Our contributor is currently a freshmen 133 lb'er at York College. During our man's high school career, his nemesis was one Lance Roycroft from neighboring Kennard Dale High School. In 5 contests spanning 2 seasons, dsterner failed to record a victory over Roycroft. The fifth and final contest was engaged during dsterner's junior year in high school (Roycroft's senior year). Our hero suffered a heart breaking overtime defeat.

dsterner gained a small measure of satisfaction during his senior year in high school when the Kennard Dale squad sent one Kirk Roycroft (younger brother of Lance) onto the mat to take on dsterner. The KD brain trust may have reasonably suspected that dsterner wouldn't know the difference. Nevertheless, dsterner was onto their scheme and recorded a 3rd period fall over the imitation nemesis.

And now the saga is rejoined. On Saturday, January 22 dsterner dropped a hard fought 7-5 decision to Ginter bringing his career mark to 0-3 against his new nemesis. The first encounter occurred during dsterner's sophomore year in high school (Ginter's senior year). In a physical mismatch, Ginter dispatched our hero like a dishrag, scoring a Technical Fall at 4 minutes by score of 16-0.

The 2nd encounter occurred in December, 2004 in a wrestling tournament hosted by Ursinus College. Our hero, being a freshmen, was unknown and unseeded in the 133 lb. field. He fought his way from the preliminary rounds to the semi-finals w/3 surprising victories to earn his shot at redemption. Ginter had enjoyed byes into the quarterfinal round where he had dispatched his opponent in less than a minute. Alas, trailing 3-2 midway through the 2nd stanza, our hero made a fatal error which did not go unobserved by his opponent. Ginter took full advantage and recorded a 2nd period fall.

In this most recent enounter, Ginter jumped to an early 5-0 lead on dsterner. Undaunted, our hero fought back viciously, but fell short in the end.

dsterner may get one or two more chances to slay his nemesis, although it's unlikely to happen again this season. The clock is ticking.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

matisyahu

Just in case anybody's in the mood for something completely different musically, check this out. Matisyahu is a "Hasidic Reggae Superstar". Saw him on Carson Daily's late night show. Unbelievable!

Click here for audio samples.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Where is RPS when you need them.

Giving peace a try, I think the NHL and the NHLPA should get together. Here is one angry dead man.

What should be done with the Blue States?

Seeing, therefore, that an association of men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which never yet existed, from the greatest confederacy of nations down to a town meeting or a vestry; seeing that we must have somebody to quarrel with, I had rather keep our New England associates for that purpose, than to see our bickerings transferred to others.

- Thomas Jefferson, 1798

O's big signings continue

The Orioles continue to multiply the number of impact players by signing Steve Reed.

Hey Boopadoop

I know you're looking forward to this.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Ever blow glass???

... cuz I now officially have! Woo hoo. We had two glass pipes, about a half an inch in diameter and we had to get the ends of the glass red hot. Meanwhile, glass doesn't conduct heat very well, so we just held on to the other ends of the pipes with our bare hands. I forgot to mention that you have to cork one end of one of the tubes. When they are red hot you push the ends together to make the intial joint. Then you get the joint red hot again and blow into the open end of the tube. The joint expands and the glass from each tube passes over top and below the other, then get the joint red hot again, repeat several times and there you go! You've now made a longer glass tube. And all of this was done for my inorganic chemistry class because we have to design vessels to hold certain reactions. More glass blowing instructions to follow.

O's making a statement

The Orioles have resigned Jerry Hairston, Jr. and Rodrigo Lopez. This brings the total number of impact players added to the roster this offseason to zero.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Human decency

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
-- Lily Tomlin

"Kate from Boston" called

A chick I dated in college called during the Steelers game over the weekend.

She lives in Boston.

We "discussed" me spending a weekend up there.

What do I do. Suggestions welcome.

The Blog

Monday, January 17, 2005

The Blind Date

Scot, did you pitch a little woo?

More on why it's important to floss



Link to explanation.

Succinct Words on Communism

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
-- Frank Zappa

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Chickens

How 'Bout Them Stillers?

That was a roller-coaster ride.

On to the AFC Championship Game!

Math

"Forty" is the only number in English, which, when spelled out, has all of its letters in alphabetical order.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Help Wanted

Apparently, Canada does not have enough pizza or strippers. Well, can any country ever really have enough of these commodities?

Knap

It may interest some of our members to hear that Knap means to break or shape stone such as flint. So as for Ozark, it is probably right, along with Eveo. Maybe me and Mike combined ARE smarter than uncle stan.!

Friday, January 14, 2005

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!!

...okay, different moon and a couple of billion miles further away. Titan, actually, one of Saturn's moons. Can you imagin how many calculations had to be done to get a rocket there? Meanwhile, the pics coming back are in black and white, bummer. In the future the scientists involved should keep in mind that if they want public interest the pics will have to be in color... and high definition.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I feel so warm and fuzzy....

As bloggers, this is for us.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Tsunami Syd to strike Florida

Sydney is leaving Aruba for good. He's a svelte 248 lbs and he's "ready to rock". Hopefully, he won't have to get ready to "go to the Rock".

O's counter Yankees and Red Sox

Well, at least this guy isn't in trouble with the law.

Engagement News

One of my best friends, Kip Fedako, proposed to his girlfriend on Sunday. They're engaged.

I feel grown up.

I have a blind date tonight...

...with a chick that Jamie set me up with.

I wonder what she looks like.

Media Update

Can this be right?

Fineman says (among other things):

"Texas Gov. George W. Bush arrived on the national scene in the 1990s intent on dictating the terms of dealing with the AMMP — or simply ignoring it altogether."

As I recall, Clinton tried a similiar tactic in the first two years of his first administration. He thought he could bypass (to some degree) the MSM and use the internet to go directly to the public. In retrospect, this was a pretty ballsy move. Clinton got 'em caught in a ringer and ended up courting the MSM as had all of his predecessors. Perhaps the public wasn't ready for it, but just as likely a cause is that the internet wasn't ready for it.

I have always been ashamed of the Clinton Administration(s). I have always felt that Clinton had "no balls". Perhaps his 8 years in the White House would have suited me better if the MSM had not chopped 'em off in his first 2 years as President.

Elections

Why is it that all the voting "irregularities" that have surfaced since the 2000 national elections seem to be occurring in voting precincts run by the Democratic party? Does anyone know of voting "irregularities" that have been uncovered in voting precincts run by the Republican party?

I Feel Safe

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

The Year's best Headlines of 2004 (with some comments)

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
(No, Really?)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
(now that's taking things a bit far!)

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
(not if I wipe thoroughly!)

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
(what a guy!)

War Dims Hope for Peace
(I can see where it might have that effect!)

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
(you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
(weren't they fat enough?!)

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
(tastes like chicken)

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Monday, January 10, 2005

Rathergate

CBS: "I have here a document, authored in the past, by an individual now deceased, which definitively states that you are a bad person. How do you respond?"

Accused: "The document you reference was not authored in the past. It was authored recently. It was not authored by the individual you claim it to be as the technology employed to author this document did not exist during this individuals' lifetime."

Columbia Journalism Review: "Aha! That doesn't make you a good person."

NEWS.com.au | Long hair 'steals the brain's energy' (January 10, 2005)

NEWS.com.au | Long hair 'steals the brain's energy' (January 10, 2005): "Long hair 'steals the brain's energy'
From correspondents in Seoul
January 10, 2005

STALINIST North Korea has stepped up its campaign against long hair and untidy attire which its media says represents a 'corrupt capitalist' lifestyle, reports said.

North Korean state television, radio and newspapers have led the grooming drive, urging people to cut their hair short and to dress tidily, the BBC said in a dispatch citing broadcasts from Pyongyang.

Men were asked to have crew cuts with hair growing up to five centimetres in a twice-a-month visit to the barber, it said.

Not only health and hygiene but also intelligence was cited by the North Korean media as reasons for the crackdown on appearance.

Pyongyang television noted long hair 'consumes a great deal of nutrition' and could thus rob the brain of energy, according to the BBC."

Sunday, January 09, 2005

NFL Coverage

Sometime during every NFL broadcast, it seems, we get a camera shot of a player who is not in the game, sitting on a stationary exercise bike, pedaling. La De Da!#$%&^^%(* This is not exciting. It is not interesting.

What is the value of this image? Are the broadcasters trying to tell me that there is something worthwhile happening off the field? "OoooWow..... Look here! A football player pedaling a stationary exercise machine on the sidelines. I didn't know they did that! Oh my, those zany football players. Always trying to get an edge. What will they think of next?"

If the stationary exercise machine is replaced with a motorcycle, I'm all for cutting away to that player just as he attempts to leap it over a dozen Greyhound buses. This endeavor is worthwhile. I am certain it would fire up the crowd and, if effected successfully at the proper moment, could swing momentum in favor of that players' team. Now that, would be an edge.

I hope the NFC (at least) undertakes this immediately . The NFC needs something. They've made no effort to produce any good football teams, at least make an effort to produce a good NFL broadcast.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Gay Rodeo

I was watching King of the Hill and they ended up at the gay rodeo. Haha, we thought. But no, Gay Rodeo had its beginnings in 1976 at the National Reno Gay Rodeo in Nevada. Over the next eight years local rodeo associations were formed in Colorado, Texas, California, and Arizona. In 1985, these four Gay Rodeo Associations along with Oklahoma founded the IGRA. From these beginnings, the IGRA has spread the Rodeo spirit and enthusiasm from Texas into Canada and from the West coast to the East coast.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Modern Education

How else is he gonna learn ?

While the Yankees sign Randy Johnson....

Tsunami Syd strikes again.

Batteries not Included....

I recently purchased an 8 pack of Duracell AA batteries. A free flashlight came with the purchase, unfortunately, there was not a battery included with the flashlight!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Coach Bill Cowher's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" - - - Steelers Style

Twas the night before Christmas, in a 'Burgh that I know.
The stadium was empty, and the lights did not glow.

The uniforms hung in the lockers with pride,
with the helmets, with emblems
on only one side.

The players and coaches had been gone for a while,
I sent them home early with a holiday smile.

So I cleared off my desk and was ready to leave,
to spend time at home on this Christmas Eve.

When out by the lockers I heard a loud clatter,
I ran from the office to see what was the matter.

I ran down the hall just as fast as can be,
and stopped at the door I was trying to see.

I heard some walking, some concern did this cause;
then I gasped when I saw, it was Santa Claus.

He was dressed not in red, but in gold trimmed with black;
and I watched as he pulled all the gifts from his sack.

Some fumbles, some picks, and some sacks for the "D,"
and a ball for Jeff Reed that flies as straight as can be.

The receivers got touchdowns, a long-bomb from Big Ben.
And yes, a defensive back for the BUS to smash in.

Every player and coach got a gift of some kind.
But what would he leave me? Lots of thoughts crashed my mind.

I watched as he carried his bag down the hall.
But he started to leave, and he left me nothing at all.

So with fire in my eyes, and spit on my lip,
I yelled 'cross the room, "hey man, what's your trip?"

"I watched as you gave all those gifts to my crew,
but you're giving me nothing, what wrong did I do?"

He turned to Coach Cowher, smiled, and said one thing:
"When you get to Jacksonville, you'll get your fifth Superbowl Ring!"

A Computer Science Lesson

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.

NBA Update

Now for this, I'm willing to wave off the traveling violation.

Welcome

Free Advice welcomes Ken as the newest member of the Free Advice Blog team.

Ken is famous (if you Google "Ken", you get 27,200,000 hits!) and has been dispensing free advice for years, one of his many reliable bon mots being "Don't think, just hit". I have employed this advice many times (in fact, I'm using it right now) with results.

The value of Ken's addition to the team cannot be measured.

I invite the blogosphere to join me in welcoming Ken.

The Command Line In 2004

Updated version of Neal Stephenson's "In the Beginning There Was the Command Line" (78 pages). Worthwhile for those who care about such things. link

Help for the BCS

Now that the NCAA Division 1A Football Beauty Pageant is over, I suggest that "Free Advice" step up to the plate and create a ranking system for the BCS to take over for the now fleeing AP Poll.

We could actually take a poll and combine the scores like the AP or Coaches poll, or we could just randomly draw teams out of a hat. Probably have the same effect as the current system as we still don't know who the best team in Division 1A College Football is.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

In lieu of free agent signings.....

Sydney Ponson Update

John Wayne

Tonight at 8pm AMC is airing the movie "The Quiet Man" starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. The cast also includes Barry Fitzgerald, Victor McLaglen and Ward Bond. The movie was originally released in 1952, directed by John Ford and is one of my all-time favorite John Wayne movies. Barry Fitzgerald's performance is particularly entertaining.

Humility

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
-- Oscar Levant

from: quote of the day

Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermy [MART]




link



Monday, January 03, 2005

Modern Education

ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.

ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is taught.


- Ambrose Bierce (The Devils Dictionary)

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Advice on Getting Stuff Done

Gotta Get My Stuff Done

(Requires Quicktime)

Go Rams

(And Steelers).

The Vikings look like they're laying an egg...

Welcome

Free Advice welcomes new contributors dsterner, jamie,mikey-p,scottie and vicki to the blogosphere.

Looks like it's going to be a big year for Free Advice.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Tires


Midget Rental Available


WARNING: Midget Phobia Symptions

Math

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.


Poker

I won poker tonight. I'm really good.

Happy New Year

Just joined this site today. Happy New Year. I'll have more to say later.

Get Yer Free Advice right here

Free Advice welcomes Jeff and Mark as the latest members of the Free Advice blog.

Welcome Aboard!

Happy New Year!