Jury Duty

I was summoned for jury duty. I blew it off once, but of course, they summoned me again. They obviously weren't going to give up until I wasted a day in the courthouse. So I presented myself with my jury summons at the Forsyth County courthouse in Winston-Salem. It wasn't so difficult really. The courthouse is across the street from my office downtown. I parked in my usual space.

Once we were checked in and accounted for in the jury room (see photo), they played a video designed to bring those up to date who hadn't watched television for the past 30 years, and needed to have the basics of the courtroom drama explained. Then, the jury coordinator announced that one of the judges would be coming to talk to us. She made it clear that this was something special, that we should appreciate that the judge would take time from his busy calendar to come and speak to us live and in person, presumably about our jury duty.

The judge explained that we might spend the entire day waiting in the jury room, and never even be called to courtroom, and that we might, in this event, feel that our time was wasted. But to the contrary he explained, our presence, even if we did not sit on a jury, was essential, for it was the THREAT of a jury trial, represented by our presence and readiness to be called to the courtroom to impanel a jury, that would motivate the settlement of the many cases that came to the courthouse that day.

As he spoke, the logic of this argument seemed sound enough. But I found myself pondering the proposition after he thanked us and returned, ostensibly to his courtroom. Then it hit me. MONKEYS! If the threat of trial by a jury of ones peers motivates settlement of many cases, imagine the motivating power of a jury of MONKEYS! Faced with the prospect of reaching a mutually agreeable settlement or facing trial by monkey, who would choose the monkeys? Nobody. The risk would be too great. But because the risk was equal for both sides, both would be motivated.

It's not easy to amend the constitution, but this is a ONE WORD AMENDMENT. We can do it!!! All we have to do is change PEERS to MONKEYS, and the backlog that is log-jamming our courts will be stripped away like the peel from a banana!

Jury Duty