On Party Platforms

Issue

A man and wife with two young children are walking down a deserted street. A terrorist with a knife comes around the corner, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges.

Democrat Party Platform Plank

Is the terrorist poor? Oppressed?

What have we done to him that would inspire him to attack?

Can the family run away?

What does the wife think?

What do the kids think?

What does the law say about this situation?

Is it possible the terrorist would be satisfied with killing just one of the family?

Does the terrorist definitely want to kill someone or just wound someone?

Should 911 be called?

Why is this street so deserted?

Raise taxes.

This is complex. We need to hold hearings to determine who is at fault.

Republican Party Platform Plank

BANG!

Redneck Party Platform Plank

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one !?"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!!!"