Twas the Night Before Christmas: Baltimore Orioles Version

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the Yard,

Not an Oriole fan was cheering, it just got too hard.

The mits were hung on the outfield wall with care,

in hopes that a great team would soon be there.

With MacPhail non-committal, and Angelos doesn't give a crap,

they had just settled down for their usual afternoon nap.

When down the field, there was such a clatter,

I threw open the Skybox window, to see if it was a new Free Agent batter.

What to my wondering eyes should appear,

It was a new owner, and a six-pack of National Beer.

The new Owner was an Orioles fan and a Pal,

I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Cal.

He slid down the flagpole with such grace and ease,

I knew many fans would be so pleased.

With his balding head, and a twinkle in his eye,

the first thing Cal did, was trade Felix Pie.

The trades and Free Agents, they came abound,

the winning and Playoffs would soon be around.

He flew up the Foul Pole from which he came,

I heard him shout aloud, in Orioles Land, there will be a better game!

As his Lexus drove out of sight,

he said "On Garza! On Fielder! On David Wright."

"Let's give those Red Sox and Yankees a good fight!"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.