NEWSPAPER COLUMN: Mentzer Family wiffleball bash

Saturday, 090906

My sister’s unforeseen appearance at Grandma Mentzer’s holiday picnic Monday stymied the entire family.
Unfortunately, her wide assortment of knee-buckling pitches didn’t fool anybody.
When the dust settled at Mentzer Field, the Aunts-and-Uncles Team had scored 18 runs off of Jamie Lynn’s right arm.
Somehow, the Nieces-and-Nephews Team scored 19.
As always during these clashes, the unexpected materialized:
• Aunt Vicki and Aunt Sharon each had two hits;
• Dad belted two homers, including a grand slam;
• cousin Megan brought her new boyfriend to the picnic, so of course, the Aunts-and-Uncles Team recruited him. During his first at-bat, he lined one into the shortstop hole. I lunged to my right, barehanded the ball, and fired it across the diamond to Megan, our first-baseman. As she caught the ball, her boyfriend plowed into her. Pappy Mentzer, the umpire, called him out;
• Aunt Patti, the second batter of the game, cleared the vehicle-lined outfield fence for her first career homer, prompting Pappy to say at game’s end, “There were a lot of highlights, but Patti was the one I didn’t expect;” and
• the game went into extra innings. Pappy remarked during the post-game handshake, “I’ve watched these games for a lot of years, and I don’t remember the last time it went extra innings.”
Our statistician is currently looking that one up.
Truly, it was a game our family will never forget.
— Scot A. Pitzer