Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Cowboy and the Yuppie

The Cowboy and The Yuppie

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A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly

a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban

sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the

cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have

in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at

his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why

not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,

connects it to his AT&T cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the

Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to

get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another

NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution

photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop

and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,

Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot

that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected

Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads

all of this data via an email on his Blackberry, and after a few

minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-

tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the

cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"

says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the

animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the

trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you

exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,

"Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct,"

says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up

here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an

answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you

don't know anything about my business."

"Now give me back my DOG."

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