Gettysburg Times (Reporters Notebook - 03/01/08): "Uncle Clarence and Flipper"

My mother’s parents — Grandma and Pappy Mentzer — recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and naturally, we threw a big party.
As I mingled that weekend afternoon with relatives that I hadn’t seen in years, I learned a fascinating tale about my great Uncle "Stan" (not to be confused with Uncle Stan, my mom’s brother who routinely appears in this column) and my great Aunt Dot.
You see, great Uncle "Stan" served in the Armed Forces during World War II. And he met great Aunt Dot, from what I hear, at a military dance.
Apparently, it was love at first sight.
When they first exchanged names, he told her that his name was “Stan.”
His real name is Clarence. She didn’t learn his real name for several months.
It didn’t matter anyway, because “Stan” had already reeled her in.
“Stan” was a nickname that Clarence apparently came up with on the spot, and the family has called him “Stan” ever since.
Now I know where I get my wild imagination.
On the first day of fifth grade, I told my class that I wanted to be called “Flipper.”
The nickname didn’t last long.
— Scot “Flipper” Pitzer

Scottie & Allison: Part Two

Who is in the mafia and who is the informant?

On helping others

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. He called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. In a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

The husband moves closer to the kitchen and repeats, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

He moves into the dining room and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

He walks up to the kitchen door. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

To which she finally replies, "For the FIFTH time", CHICKEN!!!!'

Meagan Sterner

A photo of Meagan taking a photo.

Proud Penn Stater

Penn State students raised $6.6 million in the fight against childhood cancer this weekend! We med school students only raised $15K, but we did our best.

How freakin' amazing!

Happy Anniversary

Celebratinng fifty years of marriage.

Reporters Notebook (gettysburg Times-02/23/08): "Strippers"

While talking to people Sunday morning prior to church, seated in front and behind my family’s traditional pew, I made eye contact with a relative.
“Enjoy the scripture,” I said, seemingly thinking that our brief conversation had concluded.
Wrong.
The lass looked dumbfounded.
“What’d you say about a stripper?” she replied, looking stunned.
No, not “stripper” — I said scripture.
I hope she paid attention to the sermon.
— Scot Andrew Pitzer

"Scottie & Allison"

"Having a Good Time"

On Getting what you deserve

When Native Americans were running North America there were no taxes, no debt, plenty of wild game and clean water, The Medicine man was free. The women did all the work. The men spent all day hunting and fishing.

On Following Instructions

One winter morning a couple is listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow. We are asking everyone to park their car on the even-numbered side of the street, so there is room for the snowploughs to get through."

The wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.."

The wife goes out and moves her car to the odd-numbered side.

The next week when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park .......... "

Then the power goes out. The wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do! Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"

The husband says. "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Reporters Notebook (021608): "Bull & Gas"

As I was paying my bill at a local gas station on my way home from the newsroom Tuesday evening, a female colleague busted through the store’s door.
“SCOTTIE!” she exclaimed.
My colleague, from the Times advertising department, promptly paid for her gas, and then we exchanged a load of bull.
The conversation lasted for about 20 minutes, as we started a slow progression back to our vehicles, which were parked within the same gas stall.
We moved our conservation, ever so slowly, from the store lobby, toward the entrance sidewalk, out to the parking lot, and finally back to our vehicles.
“It’s been a pleasure talking to you,” I recall telling the lass. “We should chat more often.”
After exchanging friendly hugs, we separated toward our individual vehicles. My colleague opened up her door and inserted her keys into the ignition.
“Ummm, Nancy,” I said before she closed her door, “your gas cap isn’t fastened, and your gas door is wide open.”
Laughter ensued.
“Oh my golly,” Nancy said as she climbed back out of her vehicle. “I never pumped my gas!”
No bull.
— Scot Andrew Pitzer

today's Hillary Clinton quote of the day

020708: "I think my husband would make a good First Lady."

the Bill Clinton quote of the day

020608: "The New England Patriots should have learned from President Nixon...you've got to play by the rules."

Reporters Notebook (Gburg Times - 020908): "Here we go Steelers, Here we go"

Midway through the big game on Super Bowl Sunday, I received this text message, from my 20-year-old Kutztown University sister, on my cellular phone:
"I don't even know who to root for in the Super Bowl. HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!"
The young lady was raised right.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 02/02/08): "Take me home, Jersey roads"

I was visiting some friends this weekend, and during my travels in the sweet land of New Jersey, a cop pulled me over.
“Son,” the State Trooper said as he approached my window, “do you know why I stopped you.”
Not really.
“You turned when the light was red,” the officer explained.
There must be some mistake, I thought.
“No one was coming,” I argued, “and I turned right. There was no sign saying I couldn’t turn on red.”
The officer tilted his sunglasses and raised his eyebrows.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked.
Apparently, you can’t turn right at a red light in Jersey.
I’m a law-breaker.
~ Scot Andrew Pitzer

Gettysburg Times (012508): "Conover's lessons left a lasting impression"

BY SCOT ANDREW PITZER

Times Staff Reporter

The wrestling camp director, on the first day of a week-long summer camp at the Hanover YMCA, quickly browsed over a room full of elementary wrestlers.Then he peered down at his roll-call list.

The camp director was Hanover High School wrestling Coach Terry Conover.

And I was enrolled at camp.

“Scot Pitzer,” read Coach Conover.

He looked up from his list, and saw me – then a fourth grader – with my hand raised.

“Where are you from, knucklehead?” asked the legendary coach.

I paused, before taking a deep breath.

“Biglerville,” I said.

An awkward silence ensued.

“Well,” the Pennsylvania Hall of Fame coach quipped, “I guess that's alright."

The veteran coach, who plans to retire at the end of this season after amassing more than 550 dual meet victories, didn’t seem to mind that a Biglerville kid had infiltrated a wrestling camp that was under his leadership, and largely attended by Hanover area grapplers. Interestingly, he thanked me — as well as the other ‘out of town’ kids — for coming.

“I don’t care where you’re from,” I recall Coach Conover saying. “I’ll teach anyone how to wrestle.”

He didn’t seem to mind that a Biglerville kid was attending his camp, even though, at the time, the Canner and Hanover Hawk varsity wrestling programs were bitter enemies.

He didn’t mind, even though the rivalry between the Hanover and Biglerville wrestling programs was at its peak, with Hanover winning practically all of the battles en route to a record seven straight District titles.

And he didn’t mind that I was there, even though a Biglerville varsity wrestler with my last name gave Coach Conover’s middle-weights a headache the previous season.

Why?

Because the Coach Conover treats all wrestlers equally.

His passion for the sport, and for making every kid as good as they possibly can be, far outweighs any resentment that has developed over the years toward rivaling wrestling programs.

His respect for the sport, and for opposing grapplers, was evident Thursday night at the Canner Dome in Biglerville, where Biglerville middle-weight Lee Starner was dangerously close to running out of his five minutes of allotted blood time, as Starner was unable to halt a leaky nose. During what was the final break in the action, Conover walked over to the Biglerville side of the mat and helped the opposing coaches and trainers wrap tape around the center of Starner’s face, covering his nose to temporarily quell the bleeding. He preferred that the wrestlers won — or lost — the bout on the mat; not via a technicality.

Years after I attended his camp, Coach Conover still practiced what he preached. In my stint as a varsity wrestler at Biglerville, any time I’d square off against a Nighthawk, I made sure to go over to Coach Conover’s corner after the bout and shake his hand.

“Good job, Knucklehead,” Coach Conover would say, recalling our relationship from his wrestling camp.

Many opposing wrestlers, coaches and fans will admit that Coach Conover is an intimidating figure. But that’s a credit to his teams, who over the past 37 years of his tenure, were some of the best wrestling squads that this area has ever witnessed. His teams always came prepared, and it didn’t matter whether he had a state qualifier or a junior varsity wrestler in his lineup — all of his wrestlers were prepared, and every one, in every dual meet, gave everything they had for their mat boss.

Coach Conover leaves the local wrestling scene having established a legacy of perfection. If you were going to beat one of his teams, you had to be nothing short of perfect. And not many opposing teams, during the pinnacle of the Hanover Hawk wrestling era, were.

Coach Conover made opposing teams better, simply just by being on the other side of the mat. Counterparts knew that nothing short of 100 percent would get the job done.

If there’s any question about the level of respect that opposing fans have for Conover, Thursday night’s clash at the Canner Dome in Biglerville was a fitting indicator.

In front of a passionate Biglerville wrestling crowd known for its disdain of arch rivals, when Canner head coach Bob Gano took the microphone before the start of the match and lauded Coach Conover’s career, the home crowd responded with a standing ovation.

The legendary coach, obviously moved by Canner Country’s passionate salute, rose from his perch on the Hanover bench and thanked the Biglerville fans for their classy gesture. It was an emotional moment that even induced tears from Biglerville’s timekeeper, a longtime Hanover nemesis.

The local wrestling scene, quite frankly, is losing an icon.

At least one knucklehead is going to miss him.

Scot Pitzer is a Times staff reporter. Contact him at 334-1131, ext. 247 or spitzer@gburgtimes.com.

"Canner Country salutes Coach Conover"

"CANNER SEND-OFF - - - Biglerville salutes Conover, then hammers Hanover"

BY JOSH MARTIN - Times Sports Editor

It was only fitting that Biglerville was one of the final stops on Terry Conover’s farewell tour.
After all, the original Canner Dome was the site of countless clashes between Hanover and Biglerville, plenty of which were contested with league, sectional and district championships hanging in the balance. Thursday’s match had none of that as the Nighthawks were struggling to reach the finish line while Biglerville was seeking a school record for wins in a season. The mismatch on paper translated to the mat, where the Canners administered a 57-14 thrashing.
While the old gym wasn’t too kind to Conover, the Canner fans were, giving the retiring coach a pair of standing ovations prior to the start of the match.
“There were some big matches, a lot of upsets and some great things happened here,” said Conover. “I’ve got an awful lot of good friends here at Biglerville, which a lot of people won’t believe, but I do. They appreciate competition and winning and losing. They understand what it’s all about.”
Biglerville coach Bob Gano addressed the crowd prior to the varsity match, congratulating Conover for his hall of fame career that will have spanned 800 matches when he coaches his final dual meet at a tournament Saturday in Altoona. Gano was pleased with the reaction from the Canner faithful, who saluted Conover for his achievements.
“Our fans were very, very respectful,” Gano said. “I think they recognize that it can be a bitter rivalry but that doesn’t mean that you don’t respect what somebody has done. I thought Canner Nation did a nice job with that tonight.”
The Canners (24-3, 9-1 YAIAA-2) did a nice job as well, capturing 10 of 14 bouts en route to establishing a new school record for wins. The 24 victories achieved this season surpasses the 23 wins posted last year.
The teams traded the first four bouts, with Hanover’s Brent Hoff (130) and Zach Wolford (140) getting wins to offset pins by Biglerville’s Tim Kint (125) and Nick Asper (135).
Wolford had to go the full six minutes to off hold Nic Lieberum in an entertaining 3-2 bout. Wolford (26-0) hit a dump for a takedown 21 seconds into the fray, which proved to be the difference.
The Canners claimed the next two weights, getting a fall from Logan Bobo and a 6-2 decision by Shay Shive, who bumped up to 152 to face Tylor Elder. Shive was able to take Elder down twice and control the bout from the top position, but wasn’t rewarded with any nearfall points for his efforts.
“(Elder) was very strong and we were giving up 10-12 pounds,” Gano said. “If it was later in the match, I don’t know if we would have made the move. I thought we had to do what we had to do at that point.”
James Leedy used a takedown in each period for a 9-1 major decision at 160 before Biglerville put the match on ice with falls from Dale Nichols (171), Danny Thomas (189) Jeff Foster (215), Brett Smyers (285) and Briar Garber (103).
Smyers needed just 25 seconds to put his opponent away, and Garber rallied from a 2-0 deficit for a pin against Hanover’s Brandon Hoff.
“Briar Garber, that was a real nice job for him,” Gano said.
Jacob Gerlach posted a 5-0 decision at 112, but it was too little, too late for the Nighthawks (12-14, 5-5 Y-2).
“We don’t have the depth and skill that we’ve had in the past,” said Conover, who has been forced to juggle lineups due to academic and disciplinary issues. “It’s pretty tough to wrestle good people and win. It’s tough to compete, let alone win.”
Nick Leiphart closed the books on the match with a fall at 119, giving the Canners extra momentum as they prepare for the District 3 Team Championships, which begin next Tuesday. Gano believes his squad will be ready after seeing the way it bounced back from Tuesday night’s blowout loss to Bermudian Springs.
“We got our tails kicked in Tuesday night,” he said. “In my world, the quickest way to put that to past is to do it to somebody else. So, I said ‘we’ll see how well they respond’, and it was good.”
Biglerville 57, Hanover 14
125-Tim Kint (B) p. Steven Laughman, 4:44; 130-Brent Hoff (H) md. Lee Starner, 14-1; 135-Nick Asper (B) p. Kevin Tamayo, 1:03; 140-Zach Wolford (H) d. Nic Lieberum, 3-2; 145-Logan Bobo (B) p. Alan Taulbee, 1:34; 152-Shay Shive (B) d. Tylor Elder, 6-2; 160-James Leedy (H) md. Seth Shive, 9-1; 171-Dale Nichols (B) p. Zach Wentz, 3:35; 189-Danny Thomas (B) p. Justin Edelin, 4:26; 215-Jeff Foster (B) p. Tyler Yohe, 2:41; 285-Brett Smyers (B) p. Bryan Ness, :25; 103-Briar Garber (B) p. Brandon Hoff, 2:55; 112-Jacob Gerlach (H) d. Jesse Gardner, 5-0; 119-Nick Leiphart (B) p. Nate Storm, 3:29.

Reporters Notebook (Gburg Times: 012608) - "Fashion Statement"

Hauling a fluorescent pink back-pack Thursday night when I visited the Canner Dome for a wrestling clash between Hanover and Biglerville, the reactions that I garnered from passer-by were priceless.
“Hey Pitzer,” a person said, “I love the fashion statement.”
Ummm, ok.
“What in the heck is that?” a young teenager asked me about the back-pack, obviously picking on me.
“Do you know your back-pack is pink?”
Ummm, no.
“Is pink your favorite color?” asked a security guard.
Ummm, yes.
“My kids have back-packs at home that they’d let you borrow,” a family friend told me.
Ummm, no thanks.
“Don’t you own anything else?” asked a Concession Stand attendant.
Actually, I was dropping the bag off for a pre-school friend who had left it elsewhere the day before.
“Did people look at you?” the Mom asked.
Like you wouldn’t believe.
— Scot Andrew Pitzer

On Entertainment

For a pleasant diversion, follow this link.

On Anonymity

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
- Anonymous

C-A-N-N-E-R-S

the student section at the CannerDome as the Bermudian Springs Eagles enter the gymnasium for warm-ups prior to their match against Biglerville.

Bermudian, as expected, won 46-9.

On Being Prepared

On the NFL Title Games

The Free Advice NFL Title Games Pick 'em results:

Giants (25%) over Packers (75%)
Patriots (25%) over Chargers (75%)

On to the Super Bowl!

On Newspaper writers

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
- Ben Hecht

Reporters Notebook (Gettysburg Times: 011908): "Global Positioning System"

Familiar with the latest technological motor vehicle fad?
Global Positioning System (GPS) devices are the new craze, enabling motorists to navigate toward their destination — near or far — with ease.
The device, a miniature computer placed in the vicinity of a vehicle’s dashboard, talks to motorists, instructing the driver where to turn and what routes to travel en route to a given destination.
“It’s perfect,” I recall colleague Jarrad Hedes telling me. “Now, we don’t have to listen to a woman telling us how to get somewhere.”
Prior to a vehicular trip, a destination is entered into the device, which then — via a global network of 24 orbiting satellites — tabulates the best possible route.
Jarrad, for example, when we leave the newsroom for lunch, actually punches in “Dunlaps” as a destination, and yes, the GPS takes us to the eatery.
But the devices do have their drawbacks.
Last weekend, I traveled to Ohio with Uncle Stan, and the GPS device successfully directed us on a seven-hour trip to Uncle Jeff’s house near Columbus.
However, the next morning, when we relied on the GPS system to find a school that was 10 minutes away (my cousin Ryan was in a wrestling tournament), we were a half hour late and missed Ryan’s first match.
The machine actually instructed us to turn on a dirt road.
“I don’t think there’s a school back here,” deadpanned Aunt Sharon.
We kept going anyway, hoping that the GPS knew what it was doing.“You have reached your destination,” the machine said.
Nope. We were in the middle of a wheatfield.
“I don’t think there’s a school back here,” said Uncle Stan.
At least the global satellites know how to find Dunlaps.
— Scot Andrew Pitzer

On the NFL Divisional Playoff Round

The Free Advice Divisional Playoff Pick 'em results:

Giants (83%) over Cowboys (17%)
Packers (80%) over Seahawks (20%)
Patriots (40%) over Jaguars (60%)
Chargers (60%) over Colts (40%)

Hmmm... the voting correctly predicted the actual result in 3 of 4 contests (75%).

The Title game polls are up.

"We may look like pansies..."

"...but watch what you say, or else, we'll put out your lights!"

ummm, what in the world is going on here?

This worries me. Literally.

Parents Beware...

Don't let your kids go to Ohio State. They've now embarrassed the Big Ten twice in a row in the BCS National Championship, and they have trouble spelling simple words, for example, the name of the school which they attend!

PATHETIC!

On What's for Dinner

In Spring, 2009 there will be 30% less beef on grocery store shelves than there is now.

Oh yeah, and the Democrats will blame it on George W. Bush.