Where's Clark Kent?

"Apr 23 Spencer Fordin, of Orioles.MLB.com, reports Baltimore Orioles P Daniel Cabrera leads the American League in walks this season, with 22. "


Spencer Fordin, aka Jimmy Olsen, is trying to be as helpful as possible to fantasy baseball owners. He may want to look into the whole story and let us know just how Daniel became so proficient in walks.

Holy !@#$$%

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

They've Got Everything at that Mall

An Amish boy and his father rode into King of Prussia to visit the mall for the first time. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny 'walls' that could slide open and close effortlessly shut again. The boy looked at his father and asked, "What is this thing, father?"

Having never seen an elevator before, the old man responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

At that moment, a fat lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady moved between them into a small room. The walls then closed, and the boy and his father watched in awe as a series of semi-circular numbers above the walls lit up sequentially. They continued to stare as the numbers lit in reverse order. Finally the walls opened again and a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde woman stepped out.

Without taking his eyes off the young woman, the father said quietly: "Son, go get your mother .."