Friday, April 08, 2011

Bring on the Rangers!

The Texas Rangers come to the "Land of Pleasant Living" for 3 games and I'm looking forward to the series with uncustomary glee!


O's pitching leads the AL in ERA. Ranger pitching is 3rd.

The O's have Vladimir Guerrero. The Rangers do not.

The O's are 5-1. The Rangers are ... 6-0.

O's are 11th in the AL in Batting Average. Rangers are ...... 3rd.

The O's are trying to reverse 13 years of losing baseball. The Rangers are............are defending AL champs.

umm............. Bring on the Red Sox!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

On Old Age







Jack Daniels.

Over 100 years old.

In the bars every night.

Monday, April 04, 2011

On the O's


The O's swept the Rays in the season series opener. O's starters posted a 0.45 ERA over 20 innings. The staff ERA is 1. The offense scored 12 runs in the 3 game series while facing Price, Shields and Wade. Showalter has the O's ready to play right out of the gate.

The last time the O's started a season 3-0 was 1997. They won the AL East.
The last time the O's started a season 3-0 on the road was 1970. They won the World Series.

Detroit comes to Baltimore for a 3 game set. The Tigers scored 19 runs in their series opener with the Yankees. Tiger bats are heated up and ready to go. This will likely be a stiffer test for the O's pitching staff than the opening series with the Rays.

The Tigers will send Porcello, Verlander and Penny to the mound in the 3 game set. With the exception of Verlander, this is not as tough a task as Price, Shields and Wade. It's still no cakewalk and O's bats better heat up for this series. I suspect 2 runs will not win any games in this set.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

On Love

A man is sitting on the veranda with his wife and he says "I love you".


His wife responds "Is that you -- or the beer talking?"

The man states "It's me....... talking to the beer."

Friday, February 18, 2011

On Finding Common Ground

A Mormon was seated next to an Irish Catholic on a flight back to the States from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey and a glass of Guinness, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let
liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drinks back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

On Hard Times

A farmer from Gooberville was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"

He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.

Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.

She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"

Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, blight got my apples, a tornado leveled my barn and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches...."

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Major League Baseball: Perks



I was doing some research into MLB contracts, and look at these perks I found.

1 - Backup Oriole infielder Cesar Itzturis has a $25k bonus, if he wins a Silver Slugger Award.

2 - Pitcher Chien-Ming Wang also has a Silver Slugger clause, for $50,000.

He is 0-14 lifetime at the plate.

3 - Three relievers, including Baltimore closer Joki Uehara, has a $30,000 bonus if he starts (that's right, starts) the All-Star Game.

4 - Nieces and Nephews Team slugger Stephen Mentzer has a $50 dollar bonus if he hits for the cycle on Memorial Day.

Unbelieveable stuff. Scot.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Rendell Trying to Jinx Pittsburgh?


This almost makes me sick...

On Hollywood

Friday, January 07, 2011

On Internet Quotations

The problem with Internet quotations is that many are not genuine.

- Abraham Lincoln

Blogger Enjoys Musselman Stadium Experience

http://handfulofsports.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/room-with-a-view/

Posted: October 22, 2009 by Brian Shea in Biglerville, Prep football, York area media.

I have covered high school sports in this area in some way, shape or form since 1992. This is the first year in a long time where I have covered football on a regular basis. That has helped me get a closer look o something near and dear to the hearts of all sportswriters – comfortable press boxes.

I didn’t get free food at Biglerville earlier this week, but they did provide the next best thing: a seat cushion. I can deal with getting my own dinner at the game, but a hard chair makes covering a game a painful experience in more way than one. The Canner crew also featured some of the best in-game entertainment you can ask for. Again, knowing folks like wrestling coach Bob Gano (spotter) and former grappler Scot Pitzer (announcer) made for a fun evening.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

WRESTLING: May Ranked Atop 103-lb Standings

http://www.thepapowerrankings.com/District_3_AA_Rankings.html

103
Name Gr. School
1 Danny May 11 Biglerville
2 Devon Bentley 10 Trinity (Camp Hill)
3 Terrance White 9 Bishop McDevitt
4 Ted Marines 9 Bermudian Springs
5 Tyler Hitz 11 Northern Lebanon
6 Alex Garcia 10 Fleetwood
HM Tanner Pyles 9 Annville Cleona
HM John Lobeck 9 Lancaster Catholic

Monday, December 27, 2010

On Movies

I saw the Coen Brothers remake of True Grit. I recommend it.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Baltimore Orioles Version


Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the Yard,

Not an Oriole fan was cheering, it just got too hard.

The mits were hung on the outfield wall with care,

in hopes that a great team would soon be there.

With MacPhail non-committal, and Angelos doesn't give a crap,

they had just settled down for their usual afternoon nap.

When down the field, there was such a clatter,

I threw open the Skybox window, to see if it was a new Free Agent batter.

What to my wondering eyes should appear,

It was a new owner, and a six-pack of National Beer.

The new Owner was an Orioles fan and a Pal,

I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Cal.

He slid down the flagpole with such grace and ease,

I knew many fans would be so pleased.

With his balding head, and a twinkle in his eye,

the first thing Cal did, was trade Felix Pie.

The trades and Free Agents, they came abound,

the winning and Playoffs would soon be around.

He flew up the Foul Pole from which he came,

I heard him shout aloud, in Orioles Land, there will be a better game!

As his Lexus drove out of sight,

he said "On Garza! On Fielder! On David Wright."

"Let's give those Red Sox and Yankees a good fight!"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jamie Pitzer Graduates - 12/18/10




Jamie Lynn Pitzer graduates Saturday at Kutztown University, earning a degree in Special Education.

Friday, November 26, 2010

On Spelling (beer)

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

- Professor Irwin Corey

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

More on Beer

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Paul Hornung

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

On Beer

... it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you are always smarter after a few beers.

- Cliff Claven

Friday, September 17, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

On Lycoming Football

The Lycoming Warriors defeated Westminster (Pa) College 40-10 on Saturday afternoon in Williamsport, PA.

Canner alumni Parker Showers returned the opening kickoff 58 yards to the Westminster 25 and on the ensuing play Canner alumni Ryan Wagaman pulled in a 25 yard touchdown pass to give Lycoming a lead they never relinquished.

On the season, Showers has 3 kick returns for 109 yards and a 36.3 yard average as well as 14 carries for 50 yards, a 3.5 yard average.

Wagaman has 7 receptions for 99 yards and a touchdown.

Get the entire story here and a photo gallery of the game here.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

On Arrivals

In Luke Scott's last 67 games he is hitting .320 with 19 HR and 45 RBI. Scott has always been a feast or famine streak hitter, however, 67 games is by far the longest hot streak he's ever had.

This is Scott's 6th ML campaign.

Has he matured into a dangerous hitter? Should the O's plan on having Scott in the middle of the lineup in 2011? or is this just a long hot streak and the O's should trade him this winter at his peak value?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

On Mysteries


The Baltimore Orioles are 6-1 under new skipper Buck Showalter, having completed a 7 game homestand hosting the Angels and White Sox. It is only their 3rd winning homestand of the season and the only one where they played well in each game. Now they get their first road trip under Showalter as they head to Cleveland for 3 and Tampa Bay for 3 more.

The O's record is 38-74 on the season, the worst in ML baseball. 24-34 at home and 14-40 on the road, both worsts in the AL. However, they are 10-3 in extra inning contests and 21-16 in one run games.

So can they actually play ball and just haven't? Has the arrival of Buck Showalter at the helm flipped some "play good" switch? Has the coincidental return of Brian Roberts to the lineup been the catalyst? The departure of Miguel Tejada?

The Orioles are 6-1 under Buck Showalter. In those 7 games, the O's have pitched, fielded and hit well.

I don't know what the hell is going on.

Friday, July 02, 2010

On Getting Things Done

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.

- Mario Andretti

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

On Higher Education

The collegiate athletic conference referred to as The Big 10 has 12 member schools.

The collegiate athletic conference referred to as The Big 12 has 10 member schools.

Friday, June 04, 2010

BLOG: "Wiffleball tourny pits Aunts, Uncles vs. Nieces, Nephews"

SUB-TITLE: Aunts & Uncles win Memorial Day bash; second consecutive win in heated rivalry

Published: Friday, June 4, 2010 4:17 PM EDT.

The Aunts & Uncles Team heard the whispers.They were too old, some wiffleball fans said.

They didn’t have the stamina to compete with the youthful, energetic Nieces & Nephews squad, others argued. They were undermanned, and could no longer hit the long-ball, opponents suggested.

Frankly, they just didn’t belong on the same field.

The Aunts & Uncles team put those whispers to rest, with a commanding 7-5 win over the Nieces & Nephews, in a stunning victory Monday afternoon at Mentzer Field near Hellam.With the win, the aging A&U’s extend their winning streak in the heated rivalry to two games, dating back to Labor Day 2009.

“We’ve heard the critics — we were determined to prove them wrong,” A&U left fielder Gregg Pitzer said following the humidity-shortened five inning victory.

The two teams took the field Monday afternoon in the annual Memorial Day Wiffleball Bash, following a 20-minute thunderstorm delay.

Newcomers were predominant on both teams, as the A&U’s were missing Uncle Jeff and Aunt Sharon, who remained in Ohio with their children. Mentzer family friend Wes Staub, and cousins Lance and Travis Schriver filled in capably for the adult team, while the N&N’s scrambled to replace Ryan, Nathan, Stephen, Morgan and Allison Mentzer.

The N&N’s recruited Kayla White, as well as Forrest and Sammy Staub to fill in for the Mentzer siblings.

Veteran umpire Pappy Mentzer also missed the game, as he performed a “good deed” earlier in the afternoon.

Nieces & Nephews ace hurler Jamie Pitzer, making her sixth consecutive start in the series, mowed down the Aunts & Uncles in the first inning — and then the bats got rolling.

Danny May paced the N&N’s with three hits, including a double in his first at-bat. He scored when brother Gabe May, batting fifth in the new-look batting order, laced a bullet down the left field line, also scoring outfielder Forrest Staub.

The quick two runs prompted A&U manager-player Uncle Stan Mentzer to visit pitcher Uncle Dan May at the mound. Uncle Dan was filling in for regular starter Uncle Jeff Mentzer, who did not make the trip from Columbus, Ohio.

“I was having some mechanical issues,” said Uncle Dan.

The mechanical issues continued as first base-woman Kaila May, filling in for veteran Meagan Sterner who was out with illness, followed with an infield single, and scored when White legged out a chopper.

The Nieces & Nephews scored another run in the bottom of the second inning to take a 4-0 lead, which looked insurmountable with Jamie Pitzer’s mix of fastballs and offspeed pitches.

But the Aunts & Uncles rallied for three runs in the subsequent inning, thanks to key hits from Uncle Dan, Gregg Pitzer, Staub and the Schrivers. Staub notched two hits in the afternoon, and pulled the A&U’s to within one run when he belted a Jamie Pitzer fastball over the head of third baseman Marty May, scoring Lance Schriver from second base.

“The adrenaline, it gets to you,” said Staub. “No one wants to lose.”

A&U third-base-woman Judy Pitzer, hitless in three at bats, was robbed by daughter Jamie Pitzer in the third, on a chop between the mound and first base. Jamie Pitzer, a fifth-year senior at Kutztown, lunged at the ball and then sprinted to first for the out, beating Judy Pitzer — a third grade teacher at Arendtsville Elementary School — by a step.

“Sorry Mom,” Jamie laughed as she returned to the mound. “Love you!”

Staub again reached base in the top of the fourth, with an opposite field single. His single was key, as a defensive blunder by the N&N’s one pitch earlier allowed his at-bat to continue. Staub popped a foul ball, and catcher Kayla White failed to track the short fly down the right field line, in what would have been an easy play.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” White acknowledged in a post-game interview.

The Nieces & Nephews bats were held silent again in the third inning, and the wheels fell off the cart in the top of the fourth. Uncle Stan stepped to the plate with a runner on first, prompting Jamie Pitzer to gasp: “Oh no. He intimidates me.”

Uncle Stan launched the next pitch beyond the wall of vehicles in the left field, giving the old-timers the lead at 5-4.

Fans peppered throughout the sellout crowd, including Grandma Mentzer, Aunt Vicki and Aunt Clara, booed the veteran slugger as he rounded the bases.

“I was looking for a changeup and I got one,” said Uncle Stan, homerless since 2006.

Uncle Stan nearly connected again in the top of the fifth inning, but he was robbed by Dr. Michael E. Pitzer, who made a leaping stab of the would-be homer over the outfield fence, knocking the ball back into play. Pitzer recently earned his doctorate from the Penn State Hershey School of Medicine and starts his residency at the University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore later this month.

“I’ve never seen a play like that,” said Aunt Vicki, who gave Dr. Pitzer a standing ovation with other fans in the center-field bleachers.

The defensive gem sparked the Nieces & Nephews, in the bottom half of the final inning.

Danny May reached first base on an infield single, and scored from first on Davey Sterner’s triple to deep center. But Sterner rounded third, attempting an inside-the-park homer, and Judy Pitzer’s cut-off throw nailed Sterner at the plate, where he was tug out by Uncle Dave.

“Davey’s been taking chances on the basepaths since he was 4-years-old,” deadpanned Uncle Stan.

Trailing by two runs with two outs, Gabe May kept the hopes of the deflated N&N’s team alive with a single, but a comeback hopper off the bat of Sammy Staub ended the threat, as pitcher Uncle Dan recorded an unassisted double play.

“Unbelievable,” said Grandma Mentzer. “The game gets better every year, and the intensity continues to mount.”

Both teams shook hands afterwards, in a show of sportsmanship.

The N&N’s will get a chance to break the elder team’s two game winning streak on Labor Day, when the game moves to Sterner Field in Wrightsville.

“We’ll be back,” said N&N manager-player Scot Pitzer. “We just couldn’t get the key hits when we needed them.”

Aunts & Uncles 7, Nieces & Nephews 5.

Nieces & Nephews
Danny May, 2b, 3-3
Marty May, 3b, 1-3
Forrest Staub, of, 2-3
Davey Sterner, cf, 1-3
Gabe May, of, 2-3
Kaila May, 1b, 1-3
Sammy Staub, of, 1-3
Kayla White, c, 1-2
Jamie Pitzer, p, 2-2
Dr. Michael E. Pitzer, of, 1-2
Scot Pitzer, ss, 1-2

Aunts & Uncles
Uncle Dan, p, 3-4
Gregg Pitzer, lf, 2-4
Lance Schriver, 1b, 2-4
Travis Schriver, of, 1-4
Uncle Dave, ss, 0-3
Judy Pitzer, 3b, 0-3
Wes Staub, cf, 2-3
Uncle Stan, 2b, 2-3

Submitted by: Scot A. Pitzer, Times Staff Reporter.
Reader comments are encouraged. Contact Scot Pitzer directly at 334.1131, ext. 247, spitzer@gburgtimes.com, or submit a comment on this blog.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

On Legislation

Legislation with partisan support only, sucks.
Legislation with bi-partisan support, sucks more.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

On Relief


Since a miserable 2-16 start to the 2010 campaign, the O's have gone 8-8 in their last 16 games. These against Boston (4-0), New York (1-5), Minnesota (2-2) and Seattle (1-1).

The biggest difference has been the back end of the bullpen. Alfredo Simon was converted from starter to bullpen for 1 week while still at AAA Norfolk, then promoted and plugged into the O's bullpen as closer. He's got 4 Saves and 1 Hold in 5 Appearances.

Koji Uehara was activated from the DL and has 3 Holds in 3 Appearances.

Will Ohman has taken over the 7th inning role and has yet to allow a Run in 11 IP.