On Movies

I saw the Coen Brothers remake of True Grit. I recommend it.

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Baltimore Orioles Version

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the Yard,

Not an Oriole fan was cheering, it just got too hard.

The mits were hung on the outfield wall with care,

in hopes that a great team would soon be there.

With MacPhail non-committal, and Angelos doesn't give a crap,

they had just settled down for their usual afternoon nap.

When down the field, there was such a clatter,

I threw open the Skybox window, to see if it was a new Free Agent batter.

What to my wondering eyes should appear,

It was a new owner, and a six-pack of National Beer.

The new Owner was an Orioles fan and a Pal,

I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Cal.

He slid down the flagpole with such grace and ease,

I knew many fans would be so pleased.

With his balding head, and a twinkle in his eye,

the first thing Cal did, was trade Felix Pie.

The trades and Free Agents, they came abound,

the winning and Playoffs would soon be around.

He flew up the Foul Pole from which he came,

I heard him shout aloud, in Orioles Land, there will be a better game!

As his Lexus drove out of sight,

he said "On Garza! On Fielder! On David Wright."

"Let's give those Red Sox and Yankees a good fight!"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Jamie Pitzer Graduates - 12/18/10

Jamie Lynn Pitzer graduates Saturday at Kutztown University, earning a degree in Special Education.

On Economics

The unemployed, unlike the rich... are in fact the job creators.

- Keith Olbermann

On Spelling (beer)

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

- Professor Irwin Corey

More on Beer

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Paul Hornung

On Beer

... it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you are always smarter after a few beers.

- Cliff Claven

On Things You Didn't See Coming

A politician tells a true story.

On Lycoming Football

The Lycoming Warriors defeated Westminster (Pa) College 40-10 on Saturday afternoon in Williamsport, PA.

Canner alumni Parker Showers returned the opening kickoff 58 yards to the Westminster 25 and on the ensuing play Canner alumni Ryan Wagaman pulled in a 25 yard touchdown pass to give Lycoming a lead they never relinquished.

On the season, Showers has 3 kick returns for 109 yards and a 36.3 yard average as well as 14 carries for 50 yards, a 3.5 yard average.

Wagaman has 7 receptions for 99 yards and a touchdown.

Get the entire story here and a photo gallery of the game here.

On Arrivals

In Luke Scott's last 67 games he is hitting .320 with 19 HR and 45 RBI. Scott has always been a feast or famine streak hitter, however, 67 games is by far the longest hot streak he's ever had.

This is Scott's 6th ML campaign.

Has he matured into a dangerous hitter? Should the O's plan on having Scott in the middle of the lineup in 2011? or is this just a long hot streak and the O's should trade him this winter at his peak value?

On Mysteries

The Baltimore Orioles are 6-1 under new skipper Buck Showalter, having completed a 7 game homestand hosting the Angels and White Sox. It is only their 3rd winning homestand of the season and the only one where they played well in each game. Now they get their first road trip under Showalter as they head to Cleveland for 3 and Tampa Bay for 3 more.

The O's record is 38-74 on the season, the worst in ML baseball. 24-34 at home and 14-40 on the road, both worsts in the AL. However, they are 10-3 in extra inning contests and 21-16 in one run games.

So can they actually play ball and just haven't? Has the arrival of Buck Showalter at the helm flipped some "play good" switch? Has the coincidental return of Brian Roberts to the lineup been the catalyst? The departure of Miguel Tejada?

The Orioles are 6-1 under Buck Showalter. In those 7 games, the O's have pitched, fielded and hit well.

I don't know what the hell is going on.

On Getting Things Done

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.

- Mario Andretti

On Higher Education

The collegiate athletic conference referred to as The Big 10 has 12 member schools.

The collegiate athletic conference referred to as The Big 12 has 10 member schools.

BLOG: "Wiffleball tourny pits Aunts, Uncles vs. Nieces, Nephews"

SUB-TITLE: Aunts & Uncles win Memorial Day bash; second consecutive win in heated rivalry

Published: Friday, June 4, 2010 4:17 PM EDT.

The Aunts & Uncles Team heard the whispers.They were too old, some wiffleball fans said.

They didn’t have the stamina to compete with the youthful, energetic Nieces & Nephews squad, others argued. They were undermanned, and could no longer hit the long-ball, opponents suggested.

Frankly, they just didn’t belong on the same field.

The Aunts & Uncles team put those whispers to rest, with a commanding 7-5 win over the Nieces & Nephews, in a stunning victory Monday afternoon at Mentzer Field near Hellam.With the win, the aging A&U’s extend their winning streak in the heated rivalry to two games, dating back to Labor Day 2009.

“We’ve heard the critics — we were determined to prove them wrong,” A&U left fielder Gregg Pitzer said following the humidity-shortened five inning victory.

The two teams took the field Monday afternoon in the annual Memorial Day Wiffleball Bash, following a 20-minute thunderstorm delay.

Newcomers were predominant on both teams, as the A&U’s were missing Uncle Jeff and Aunt Sharon, who remained in Ohio with their children. Mentzer family friend Wes Staub, and cousins Lance and Travis Schriver filled in capably for the adult team, while the N&N’s scrambled to replace Ryan, Nathan, Stephen, Morgan and Allison Mentzer.

The N&N’s recruited Kayla White, as well as Forrest and Sammy Staub to fill in for the Mentzer siblings.

Veteran umpire Pappy Mentzer also missed the game, as he performed a “good deed” earlier in the afternoon.

Nieces & Nephews ace hurler Jamie Pitzer, making her sixth consecutive start in the series, mowed down the Aunts & Uncles in the first inning — and then the bats got rolling.

Danny May paced the N&N’s with three hits, including a double in his first at-bat. He scored when brother Gabe May, batting fifth in the new-look batting order, laced a bullet down the left field line, also scoring outfielder Forrest Staub.

The quick two runs prompted A&U manager-player Uncle Stan Mentzer to visit pitcher Uncle Dan May at the mound. Uncle Dan was filling in for regular starter Uncle Jeff Mentzer, who did not make the trip from Columbus, Ohio.

“I was having some mechanical issues,” said Uncle Dan.

The mechanical issues continued as first base-woman Kaila May, filling in for veteran Meagan Sterner who was out with illness, followed with an infield single, and scored when White legged out a chopper.

The Nieces & Nephews scored another run in the bottom of the second inning to take a 4-0 lead, which looked insurmountable with Jamie Pitzer’s mix of fastballs and offspeed pitches.

But the Aunts & Uncles rallied for three runs in the subsequent inning, thanks to key hits from Uncle Dan, Gregg Pitzer, Staub and the Schrivers. Staub notched two hits in the afternoon, and pulled the A&U’s to within one run when he belted a Jamie Pitzer fastball over the head of third baseman Marty May, scoring Lance Schriver from second base.

“The adrenaline, it gets to you,” said Staub. “No one wants to lose.”

A&U third-base-woman Judy Pitzer, hitless in three at bats, was robbed by daughter Jamie Pitzer in the third, on a chop between the mound and first base. Jamie Pitzer, a fifth-year senior at Kutztown, lunged at the ball and then sprinted to first for the out, beating Judy Pitzer — a third grade teacher at Arendtsville Elementary School — by a step.

“Sorry Mom,” Jamie laughed as she returned to the mound. “Love you!”

Staub again reached base in the top of the fourth, with an opposite field single. His single was key, as a defensive blunder by the N&N’s one pitch earlier allowed his at-bat to continue. Staub popped a foul ball, and catcher Kayla White failed to track the short fly down the right field line, in what would have been an easy play.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” White acknowledged in a post-game interview.

The Nieces & Nephews bats were held silent again in the third inning, and the wheels fell off the cart in the top of the fourth. Uncle Stan stepped to the plate with a runner on first, prompting Jamie Pitzer to gasp: “Oh no. He intimidates me.”

Uncle Stan launched the next pitch beyond the wall of vehicles in the left field, giving the old-timers the lead at 5-4.

Fans peppered throughout the sellout crowd, including Grandma Mentzer, Aunt Vicki and Aunt Clara, booed the veteran slugger as he rounded the bases.

“I was looking for a changeup and I got one,” said Uncle Stan, homerless since 2006.

Uncle Stan nearly connected again in the top of the fifth inning, but he was robbed by Dr. Michael E. Pitzer, who made a leaping stab of the would-be homer over the outfield fence, knocking the ball back into play. Pitzer recently earned his doctorate from the Penn State Hershey School of Medicine and starts his residency at the University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore later this month.

“I’ve never seen a play like that,” said Aunt Vicki, who gave Dr. Pitzer a standing ovation with other fans in the center-field bleachers.

The defensive gem sparked the Nieces & Nephews, in the bottom half of the final inning.

Danny May reached first base on an infield single, and scored from first on Davey Sterner’s triple to deep center. But Sterner rounded third, attempting an inside-the-park homer, and Judy Pitzer’s cut-off throw nailed Sterner at the plate, where he was tug out by Uncle Dave.

“Davey’s been taking chances on the basepaths since he was 4-years-old,” deadpanned Uncle Stan.

Trailing by two runs with two outs, Gabe May kept the hopes of the deflated N&N’s team alive with a single, but a comeback hopper off the bat of Sammy Staub ended the threat, as pitcher Uncle Dan recorded an unassisted double play.

“Unbelievable,” said Grandma Mentzer. “The game gets better every year, and the intensity continues to mount.”

Both teams shook hands afterwards, in a show of sportsmanship.

The N&N’s will get a chance to break the elder team’s two game winning streak on Labor Day, when the game moves to Sterner Field in Wrightsville.

“We’ll be back,” said N&N manager-player Scot Pitzer. “We just couldn’t get the key hits when we needed them.”

Aunts & Uncles 7, Nieces & Nephews 5.

Nieces & Nephews
Danny May, 2b, 3-3
Marty May, 3b, 1-3
Forrest Staub, of, 2-3
Davey Sterner, cf, 1-3
Gabe May, of, 2-3
Kaila May, 1b, 1-3
Sammy Staub, of, 1-3
Kayla White, c, 1-2
Jamie Pitzer, p, 2-2
Dr. Michael E. Pitzer, of, 1-2
Scot Pitzer, ss, 1-2

Aunts & Uncles
Uncle Dan, p, 3-4
Gregg Pitzer, lf, 2-4
Lance Schriver, 1b, 2-4
Travis Schriver, of, 1-4
Uncle Dave, ss, 0-3
Judy Pitzer, 3b, 0-3
Wes Staub, cf, 2-3
Uncle Stan, 2b, 2-3

Submitted by: Scot A. Pitzer, Times Staff Reporter.
Reader comments are encouraged. Contact Scot Pitzer directly at 334.1131, ext. 247, spitzer@gburgtimes.com, or submit a comment on this blog.

On Legislation

Legislation with partisan support only, sucks.
Legislation with bi-partisan support, sucks more.

On Relief

Since a miserable 2-16 start to the 2010 campaign, the O's have gone 8-8 in their last 16 games. These against Boston (4-0), New York (1-5), Minnesota (2-2) and Seattle (1-1).

The biggest difference has been the back end of the bullpen. Alfredo Simon was converted from starter to bullpen for 1 week while still at AAA Norfolk, then promoted and plugged into the O's bullpen as closer. He's got 4 Saves and 1 Hold in 5 Appearances.

Koji Uehara was activated from the DL and has 3 Holds in 3 Appearances.

Will Ohman has taken over the 7th inning role and has yet to allow a Run in 11 IP.

On Language

Main Entry: mys-ter-y

Definition: jihad

Usage: The car bombers motive is a mystery.

On Satisfaction

Baltimore swept a 3 game series from Boston over the weekend. It is the first O's series sweep of Boston in Baltimore since 1974.

And with Julio Lugo sitting on the Orioles bench:-)

On Language

Main Entry: un·ex·pect·edly
Definition: again
Usage: Jobless claims rise, unexpectedly.

Main Entry: mostly peaceful
Definition: violent
Usage: Protesters were mostly peaceful.

On Second Firsts

Cla Meredith and Alfredo Simon recorded their first career Major League saves in back to back games this past Sunday and Tuesday, respectively.

The last time two Orioles recorded their first career saves in back to back games was May 7th and 8th, 1977 by Mike Flanagan and Scott McGregor.

On Government

You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly, too. - John Kenneth Galbraith

On Respite

The O's get a much needed day off today (needed for me, anyway) before starting Boston's turnaround tomorrow in Fenway Park.

While the pitching is much improved over last year, the snakebitten O's have 4 blown saves, the closer they traded for in the offseason is on the DL and their best pitcher from 2009 has been demoted to AAA Norfolk.

The defense started well, committing one error in the first 7 games, however, they've committed 9 more in the last 9 games.

The offense is horrible. With no sign of improvement. Leadoff hitter Brian Roberts is on the DL. Felix Pie replaced Roberts at the top of the lineup and hit .400 til he went on the DL. No one is hitting. No one advances runners. No one can bunt. No one takes pitches. Everyone makes outs. Quickly. The O's offense is painful to watch, but at least it's over quickly.

On Nostalgia

My nephew took me to the O's game last night for Matt Wieters T-shirt night. Brian Matusz took the hill for Baltimore and for 7 1/3 innings he was masterful, twirling a 2 hitter (both were bunt singles), striking out 8 and generally mystifying Rays hitters.

I even went so far as to advise my nephew to appreciate the pitching performance he was witnessing and remarked on how I use to see this kind of thing twice a week back in the McGregor/Flanagan days.

But, with one out in the 8th, the Rays abruptly solved the rookie and strung together 4 consecutive hits, 3 of them on first pitches, plating one run and loading the bases. Two more hits off of Orioles relief pitching turned a 3-0 O's lead into a 5-3 deficit. The O's eventually lost 8-6 in 10 innings.

Oh well, at least I got to see Julio Lugo on the O's bench:-)

ORIOLES: Sick & Tired

As a lifelong Oriole fan, I am sick and tired of the BS emanating from The Warehouse and Front Office.

Under the "leadership" of Andy MacPhail, the Orioles have finished in last place two consecutive years, with the worst records in franchise history. Essentially, he "threw away" two seasons, then declared that in 2010, the team would be "judged by wins and losses."

So what's he do to UPGRADE the team in the offseason? Nothing.

Aside from the Kevin Millwood trade, no improvements were made to the Last Place team. We replaced Melvin Mora with Miguel Tejada, and told Tejada that he was moving positions (from shortstop to third base). We replaced Aubrey Huff with Garrett Atkins and told him (as well) that he was moving positions (from third base to first base).

So, we're stuck with the same team...and they're off to an un-inspiring 1-5 start.

Expected? Yes. This team was simply not constructed to win.

It's obvious that Peter Angelos doees not care. Since purchasing the franchise in 1992-93, Angelos has presided over three winning seasons in 17 years of ownership.

Three winning seasons. His track record speaks for itself.

And someone please show me, exactly, what MacPhail has accomplished here.

Two trades (Bedard and Tejada) netting Adam Jones, with little to show for the Tejada deal. Otherwise, most of the "core" players on Baltimore's current roster were drafted or cultivated by former Vice President of Baseball Operations Mike Flanagan, or even Jim Beattie.

Andy MacPhailure and Peter Angeloser. It's time to run these bozo's out of town.

On Favorites

Julio Lugo is the newest Oriole. He's owed 9 million dollars for this season. And the Red Sox have to pay all of it. $9M of Red Sox money will, most days, be sitting on the Orioles bench. I love this guy!

On Congress

Update: This guy claims it's a joke.

COLUMN: Easter Weekend with the Mentzers

The Mentzer family will join millions around the world this weekend in celebrating Easter, with our traditional observance of the Christian holiday.
We’ll gather around Grandma’s kitchen table high atop the hills of Hellam near York, and then hunt eggs in her backyard.
(No, there will not be a wiffleball tournament. My faithful readers will have to wait until Memorial Day for those results.)
The Easter Bunny duped myself, brother Mike, sister Jamie, and cousins Meagan and Davey two years ago.
You see, we were informed that there were large, plastic eggs (containing cash) hidden somewhere in Grandma’s yard, so we searched frantically for an hour, but to no avail.
Turns out, the Easter Bunny (aka Uncle Stan) had our eggs inside the house the entire time.
Uncle Stan defends his actions to this day, calling it a “learning experience” for his nieces and nephews. We sure learned our lesson: always check with Grandma first.
So to all of you out there in the Gettysburg Times readership area, I wish you a splendid Easter with your families.
May you all find your eggs with little difficulty.
~ Scot A. Pitzer, Times Staff Reporter.

On Breakfast

Fun and tasty.

On Spring

It looks like a stormy April on the horizon for the Baltimore Orioles. Of the 22 games on the schedule, 16 are in the AL East with 13 of those against the Rays, Red Sox and Yankees against whom the O's were 16-39 last season. Those 16 games are sandwiched around a 6 game west coast road trip where the O's have long been poor performers.

Although not officially announced, the starting rotation appears to be set. Kevin Millwood, Jeremy Guthrie, Brian Matusz, Brad Bergesen and David Hernandez.

Millwood has had the worst spring of the group by far. Given his track record, though, he gets a pass and is reasonably expected to be ready to pitch on Opening Day.

Guthrie has also had a bad spring. He looks just like he did last season, walking batters and then giving up the home run. I expect another long season for him and suspect he may be ruined (mentally) for Baltimore. O's management has always had more patience than I in these situations, and I hope it pays off this time.

Matusz (rookie), Bergesen (sophomore) and Hernandez (sophomore) have had solid springs. While this is a bright spot, it is unreasonable to expect the youngsters to carry the load, but that is what will be needed for the Orioles to weather the month of April with their heads above water.

In the bullpen, Koji Uehara will most likely start the season on the DL with a bad hamstring (the same problem that put him on the shelf in 2009). Nagging hamstring problems at his age may mean he won't pitch again. This is a significant loss because of the flexibility a healthy Uehara could have provided to the bullpen in terms of long relief, short relief, closing and spot starting.

Kam Mickolio impressed last September and was expected to be in the bullpen in 2010. He's hurt and will likely not make the team.

In the field, Brian Roberts missed most of the spring with a herniated disk. He's been in the lineup the last several days and appears to be healthy.

Nolan Reimold (expected to be the starting left fielder) is nursing a sore achilles heel from offseason surgery. He started the spring o for 21 at the plate and limping. His bat has heated up lately with 5 multi-hit games and no noticeable limp. There remains some question as to whether he's strong enough to play every day. Felix Pie will likely be the Opening Day starter in left.

Other than that, the O's are healthy. Adam Jones (CF), Nick Markakis (RF) and Luke Scott (DH) have posted solid springs and appear ready to play. Miguel Tejada (3B), Garrett Atkins (1B) and Cesar Izturis (SS) are veterans, healthy and can reasonably be expected to deliver their standard performances once it counts.

Promoting a welfare state