2006 Memorial Day Horseshoe tournament

It was a thrilling tournament and the level of play has been increased dramatically from last year and the next tournament will prove to be a grueling test of stamina.

Please -- Call me Squire

Spring has Sprung!

Where's Clark Kent?

"Apr 23 Spencer Fordin, of Orioles.MLB.com, reports Baltimore Orioles P Daniel Cabrera leads the American League in walks this season, with 22. "


Spencer Fordin, aka Jimmy Olsen, is trying to be as helpful as possible to fantasy baseball owners. He may want to look into the whole story and let us know just how Daniel became so proficient in walks.

Holy !@#$$%

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

They've Got Everything at that Mall

An Amish boy and his father rode into King of Prussia to visit the mall for the first time. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny 'walls' that could slide open and close effortlessly shut again. The boy looked at his father and asked, "What is this thing, father?"

Having never seen an elevator before, the old man responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

At that moment, a fat lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady moved between them into a small room. The walls then closed, and the boy and his father watched in awe as a series of semi-circular numbers above the walls lit up sequentially. They continued to stare as the numbers lit in reverse order. Finally the walls opened again and a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde woman stepped out.

Without taking his eyes off the young woman, the father said quietly: "Son, go get your mother .."

Epiphany?

I know more than a few ladies who root for a particular sporting team because they claim to like that particular teams' uniforms. This reasoning has always flummoxed me. Until last week, that is, when I found myself in a public house watching a figure skating competition on TV.

I found myself rooting for a particular competitor for the exact same reason.

Cardinal Rule of Technology Engineering

Never confiscate power from your end users.

NFL Officiating

"What has to be recognized is that the job of an NFL official is difficult and dangerous. Imagine being an NFL umpire. You're positioned five yards behind the line of scrimmage in the defensive backfield. There are linebackers on either side, receivers running in front and behind you and quarterbacks throwing balls that go whizzing past your head. It's like being locked inside of a washing machine on spin cycle.

Your first task is to avoid being killed and second, look for holding. By the way, you're 60 years old and this is your hobby. Good luck. "

Read the whole thing.

Polar Bear Club News....

Simon says...

I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won.

The Jeff Mentzer College Football Rankings - Final

After the mythical championship game has been played, here are the final top 25 for the first ever Jeff Mentzer Rankings.

1. Texas 1.0000
2. USC 0.9940
3. West Virginia 0.9615
4. Penn State 0.9461
5. Ohio State 0.9440
6. TCU 0.8887
7. Oregon 0.8764
8. Alabama 0.8438
9. Virginia Tech 0.8295
10. LSU 0.8033
11. Georgia 0.7565
12. UCLA 0.7505
13. Florida 0.6723
14. Oklahoma 0.6649
15. Notre Dame 0.6579
16. Wisconsin 0.6283
17. Texas Tech 0.6235
18. Miami (FL) 0.6129
19. Auburn 0.6109
20. Boston College 0.6085
21. Louisville 0.5693
22. Nebraska 0.4213
23. Tulsa 0.3975
24. Toledo 0.3966
25. Michigan 0.3927

Still playing with the suggestions, may incorporate into next years rankings. The higher ranked teams in the top 25 from pre-bowl rankings went 11 - 5 in the bowls.

The Jeff Mentzer College Football Rankings

As I have been encouraged to publish my rankings, I will not tell you how I come up with these numbers, but I will let you know my top 25. I rank all of the teams, but the following is just the top 25.

Have fun and let's see if my #1 Texas is really better than my #2 of USC.

1. Texas 1.0000
2. USC 1.0000
3. Oregon 0.9897
4. West Virginia 0.9571
5. Penn State 0.9527
6. Ohio State 0.9388
7. Georgia 0.8670
8. TCU 0.8668
9. Alabama 0.8395
10. Virginia Tech 0.8219
11. Auburn 0.7943
12. Notre Dame 0.7863
13. LSU 0.7820
14. Miami (FL) 0.7613
15. Louisville 0.7600
16. Texas Tech 0.7382
17. UCLA 0.7063
18. Florida 0.6824
19. Wisconsin 0.6283
20. Oklahoma 0.6169
21. Boston College 0.5706
22. Michigan 0.5699
23. Minnesota 0.5248
24. Northwestern 0.5145
25. South Carolina 0.4940

How this top 25 has fared in the bowl games this year.

#1 Texas to play #2 USC
#5 Penn State to play #30 Florida State


#3 Oregon lost to #20 Oklahoma
#4 West Virginia beat #7 Georgia
#6 Ohio State beat #12 Notre Dame
#8 TCU beat #40 Iowa State
#9 Alabama beat #16 Texas Tech
#10 Virgina Tech beat #15 Louisville
#11 Auburn lost to #19 Wisconsin
#13 LSU beat #14 Miami (FL)
#17 UCLA beat #24 Northwestern
#18 Florida beat #29 Iowa
#21 Boston College beat #26 Boise State
#22 Michigan lost to #32 Nebraska
#23 Minnesota lost to #50 Virginia
#25 South Carolina lost to #46 Missouri

9 wins to 5 losses so far for the higher ranked teams with 2 to go. I guess that's not too bad.

Stay tuned for the post bowl rankings.

JSM

Nero fiddled......

In the old days, the Minnesota Vikings played NFL football in Metropolitan Stadium, an outdoor facility in Bloomington, MN. Even though the Vikings hey-dey during those years was under the leadership of "Nice Guy" head coach Bud Grant, the Vikings were a bunch of tough, cold and ruthless overachievers. Playing outdoors in Minnesota in December will do that to a football team.

Then the Vikings moved indoors into the Metrodome; and they got soft. They've had some good teams, but have yet to win a big football game in the indoor era. Not one.

Vikings management in the indoor era has fiddled around, coddling players and coaching staffs, ignoring weaknesses on one side of the ball or the other and never demanding accountability from anyone in the organization.

Yesterday, the Vikings whipped the division champion and hated rival Chicago Bears 34-10 to finish with a 9-7 record after a 2-5 start. A nice turnaround, but, apparently nice isn't going to cut it anymore.

Zygi Wilf, who bought the Vikings this past summer from former fiddler Red McCombs, fired head coach Mike Tice after the victory. Before the locker room had even cleared. Tough, cold, ruthless. Accountability demanded.

No more fiddling. Zygi plays guitar.

Should old acquaintance....

Happy New Year!

Quotable

"It doesn't mean anything. Like "RamaLamaDingDong" or "Give Peace a Chance"."

- Homer Simpson

Fun while it lasted.....

The Vikings recent run of 6 straight victories came to an end Sunday in an 18-3 loss to the Steelers.

My hero, Brad Johnson, finally showed his mortality with a couple of bad interceptions, but hell, even "Fran the Man" had a bad day here and there.

For the first time in years, the Vikings have what appears to be a competent defense. I hope they keep the defense together, sign Brad Johnson for next year, let Culpepper go and spend their money on a kick-ass running back.

Furthermore...

I am the only quarterback in the history of the NFL to have completed a touchdown pass to myself.

Who am I?

What the....?

The Minnesota Vikings are 3-0 in November after defeating Green Bay last night at Lambeau field. The Vikings leading receiver last night was tight end Jermaine Wiggins with 7 receptions for 67 yards.

Wiggins has spindly legs and a beer belly.

....and so say all of us

Brad Johnson is the best quarterback the Vikings have had since Fran Tarkenton.

Can you pass the 8th grade math test

***You Passed 8th Grade Math***

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Horse Talk

2 yr. old colt "Justawalkinthepark" , Joe Bravo up, breaks his maiden going away by 7 1/2 lengths earning a "90" Beyer rating for the effort in only his second start.

"Justawalkinthepark"s syndicate ownership includes a friend of the Free Advice blog. The colts trainer believes this colt may be Kentucky Derby material. The colt earned a 77 Beyer rating in the first race of his career, which is a better rating than half of last years Derby entrants in their 1st career starts.

McLogic

O's release Sidney Ponson?

Any one have any concrete information regarding this speculation?

So there!

If in any figure AacE, terminated by the right lines Aa, AE, and the curve acE, there be inscribed any number of parallelograms Ab, Bc, Cd, &c., comprehended under equal bases AB, BC, CD, &c., and the sides, Bb, Cc, Dd, &c., parallel to one side Aa of the figure; and the parallelograms aKbl, bLcm, cMdn, &c., are completed. Then if the breadth of those parallelograms be supposed to be diminished, and their number to be augmented in infinitum; I say, that the ultimate ratios which the inscribed figure AkbLcMdD, the circumscribed figure AalbmcndoE, and curvilinear figure abased, will have to one another, are ratios of equality.

- Sir Isaac Newton (Principia Mathematica)

Methinks thou dost protest too much

Sometime after World War I, Albert Einstein became an outspoken supporter of Zionism. This made him highly unpopular in certain circles. His theories came under attack; an anti-Einstein organization was set up. One man was convicted of inciting others to murder Einstein (for which he was fined 6 dollars).

When a book was published entitled 100 Authors Against Einstein, he retorted, "If I were wrong, then one would have been enough!"

- Stephen Hawking (A Brief History of Time)

There she is......

I watched the end of the movie "The Freshman" on television the other day. Matthew Broderick is a college freshman who unwittingly gets in cahoots with the mob. Marlon Brando plays "Carmine Sabbatini", the head mobster.

The climactic scene is a lavish dinner party hosted by Carmine Sabbatini. The entertainment for the dinner party is none other than Bert Parks (he of Miss America Pageant host fame). One of the numbers Bert sings for the dinner guests is "Maggies Farm" and I must say that the very notion of the Miss America Pageant host singing a Bob Dylan tune, coupled with the contrast of styles between Parks and Dylan is at least as captivating as an automobile wreck. Perhaps even a train wreck.

From the friendly folks at Jack Daniels....

Hmmm.....

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

- Albert Einstein

Witnessed today